As Long As You're Mine
by kisbydog
Summary: Edward and Jasper live in Forks, surrounded by the spirits of their family. Bella is a writer looking for a new start on life. Two souls reaching for each other amid otherworldly dangers - can they survive?
1. Chapter 1 The Stranger in the Woods

This was my entry for the _Baby Its Cold Outside_ Contest. This will be my first multi-chapter story, and I'm very nervous. Not all the chapters will be this long, jsyk.

Great big thanks to PTB, Wendy5542, Joint Gifts and HollettLA for cleaning this up for me!

WARNING: Chapter 4 contains a sexual assault. It is not graphic or gory, but be forewarned.

******Disclaimer: **The characters and original text of the Twilight series are owned by Stephenie Meyer. All other characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author of this entry is in no way associated with said owners and no copyright infringement is intended.

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_True love leaves no traces/__If you and I are one/It's lost in our embraces/Like the stars against the sun_

~Leonard Cohen

The whooshing sound of the packed snow under my cross-country skis was all I could hear as I glided through the woods near my father's home in Forks, Washington. The trees were coated in hoar frost and my breath came out looking like I had just inhaled a puff from a cigarette. A menthol cigarette. Blissfully enjoying the atypical winter wonderland, I breathed in the crisp, cool air deeply.

And began coughing and gasping for air.

My peaceful winter scene was now shrouded in a cloud of smoke. I looked around for the source. Through the haze I could see a small cabin with the windows open and could hear loud cursing coming from inside.

Trying to remember how to use a fire extinguisher and do first aid for burns, I attempted to wrench my boots out of my skis but I couldn't find the clasp. As I bent over to fumble with the binding, I tipped over and landed on my side in the snow, hands still wrapped around my ski.

_Whose damned idea was it to put _me_ on skis?_

As I continued to struggle to release my feet from the skis, I heard hysterical cackling followed by a loud snort. I twisted myself onto my back so I could look up to see what sort of creature was about to eat me.

My mouth dropped open and I couldn't move from my awkward and embarrassing position in the snow as I gazed upon the most stunning man I had ever laid eyes upon. A man who was clutching his knees as he stumbled about, trying to stay upright while he laughed hysterically at my predicament.

I took a brief moment to admire the gorgeous, but extremely rude, man and then once again attempted to right myself. My skis were still attached to my feet, and I flailed about before falling back into the Bella-shaped snow angel I had just tried to vacate.

The snorting tapered off into gasping breaths and I felt strong hands under my armpits lifting me out of the snow.

"Oh, shit… _snort_… I'm terribly sorry…_gasp_… I'm not usually this rude, but…" He succumbed to the cackles again as I stood glaring at him, my face red from embarrassment and anger.

"Yes, well, you just carry on trying to burn your house down, and if you're lucky I'll forget to mention it to my father, _Chief_ Swan." I huffed as I grabbed my poles and clumsily walked my skis around ninety degrees so I was facing the path home. My wonderful reverie in the snow was lost for today.

"Cabin." A voice like melted chocolate stopped me.

"Excuse me?" I twisted my upper body to look back at him.

"It's a cabin, not a house. I believe a house has substantially more leg room," he smirked.

I don't care if my panties most likely _had_ just melted at that smirk, he was still extremely rude.

"You look cold. And wet. Why don't you come in for a minute and warm up?" So now he was Mr. Manners. Well, I wasn't so easily charmed.

"I have Bailey's and coffee."

"Um, sure. Thanks." Okay, so maybe I wasn't playing as hard to get as I should. I began to lift my left ski to turn around again.

"Whoa, just let me help you out of those." He chuckled to himself as he walked over to help me out of my skis. I shot him a look, and he lowered his eyes and cleared his throat. He effortlessly snapped the release on the bindings and held my gloved hand as I stepped out of them.

Not letting go of my hand, he guided me into the cabin. It still smelled like smoke, and on the kitchen table was a pile of scorched papers and photos. A fire extinguisher lay on the floor under the table.

"If you're trying to burn the evidence, you should have waited a bit longer to use the extinguisher."

He dropped my hand and ran his hand through his hair, looking to the side. "Yeah...uh, it got a little out of control."

I walked away from the table so he wouldn't think that I was trying to see his personal documents, which he obviously wanted no one to see. I sat in a wooden chair and watched him clean up the remains of the scorched papers. He sauntered over to the fireplace and arranged the logs and kindling, then lit some newspaper to get the fire started. We were both silent as he stared into the fireplace, then tossed the charred documents in.

"Why didn't you just do that in the first place?"

He was still squatting in front of the fireplace. I couldn't see his face. "I don't know. I guess I wasn't really thinking," he muttered, looking down and turning away from me. He then stood and wandered back over to the table where he grabbed a large thermos. He poured steaming hot coffee and Bailey's into the lid of the thermos and brought it over to me.

"Here. You must be cold." He gazed at me intently, holding out the cup for me. My pants were damp from my fall in the snow, and I _was_ starting to feel quite chilled. As I took it from him, our hands brushed, sending a wave of hot electricity through my body, which contrasted deliciously with the coldness of my skin. I shuddered at the intense sensation.

"Oh, you're freezing! I'm such a jerk sometimes." I had to agree with him. Muttering to himself, he walked quickly into another room and emerged a moment later with a large, fluffy blanket. He wrapped the blanket around my shoulders and started rubbing them, trying to warm me with friction. The cold was really starting to get to me, and my teeth began to chatter.

"Here, come closer to the fire." His voice was soothing and soft like new snow. He sat on the floor in front of the fire and opened his legs for me to sit between. I hesitated.

"I apologize for my rudeness earlier." He held his arms out toward me. "I think that if you give me a chance, you'll find that I'm actually quite a nice guy." I stood up from my chair, the blanket wrapped tightly around me. I was battling with myself about whether or not I should snuggle by the fire with this stranger. My brain said no way, but the warm tingling in my belly was begging me to go to him.

_Come on Bella, this is why you came here - to relax, and have a little fun. Loosen up and go sit with the nice, sexy man!_

"Also, I'm a doctor, and I would hate for you to get hypothermia," he stated sternly. A mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. "First aid for hypothermia is body heat, Bella…"

My entire body flushed at his comment. I wasn't going to need body heat if he kept talking like that. I walked over to him and sat in between his outstretched legs, back straight. He shuffled forward a little and rubbed my arms some more. I could feel his chest pressed lightly up against my back, and my body was screaming at me to lean back and get comfortable. But my brain…

_Wait a second… _

"How did you know my name?" I turned around to look at his face and found myself staring into the most beautiful emerald green eyes I had ever seen. I couldn't breathe. He smiled slyly at me.

"Well, I think the whole town knows who the police chief's daughter is. He's been talking about your arrival for weeks now." He pulled my body into his, and I allowed myself to rest my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his long arms around me, and it felt like I belonged there. I took a sip of the coffee and Bailey's and sighed contentedly. I didn't think I'd been so relaxed in…well, ever.

We sat quietly by the fire for what could have been hours, or minutes. I finished my cup of coffee and he silently refilled it without moving away from me. I could feel his breath in my hair. He smelled like scotch and man. Perhaps the scotch explained his earlier behavior. I didn't want to break the spell, as we were in our own little bubble at the moment, but I realized that I didn't even know his name. When I asked him, he sighed, as if he didn't want the moment to end either.

"Edward Cullen." The smell of scotch grew stronger, and I realized that he had produced a flask and was drinking from it. "I apologize for laughing at you earlier. I was feeling a little…edgy, I guess? And, well, let's just say that your entrance was a much needed bit of relief. My mother taught me to act like a gentleman, but I'm afraid that I don't always."

"Well, I'm nice and toasty warm now, so I guess I can forgive you." I snuggled back against him again and he hummed in contentment. His name sounded familiar to me. I thought back to the previous times I had visited Forks and recalled a handsome blond doctor who had stitched me up a few times at the hospital. I tended to get a little rambunctious when I was away from my staid life in Phoenix, and I frequently injured myself.

"Are you related to Dr. Cullen?" As soon as it was out of my mouth, I realized how it sounded and expected his answer.

"I _am_ Dr. Cullen." If I had been facing him, I was certain I would have seen him smirking again. "But, if you're referring to Dr. Carlisle Cullen, yes. He was my father." I didn't miss the fact that he used the past tense. That must have meant that he had passed away. The last time I had seen him was about ten years ago, and from what I remembered he looked quite young. I didn't know what to say, but I felt that silence would be insensitive.

"I remember him from the hospital. What happened to him?" I turned around to face him. My cup was empty again, and he poured more of the steaming liquid for me. Between the coffee, Bailey's and Edward's nearness, I had a nice warm burn in my stomach.

He looked down sadly, and I instinctively reached out to take his hand in mine. He looked up at me and smiled.

"He and my mother were killed about four years ago in a small plane crash in the Rockies. They were on vacation."

"I'm sorry." I realized that I was rubbing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb. He smiled wearily at me. When our eyes met, the atmosphere around us began to crackle with electricity. I couldn't move from his gaze. My peripheral vision began to fade, and my sight blurred until all I could see clearly was Edward, and behind him, a small person with spiky black hair…

"Bella? Bella! Are you alright?" I was lying in Edward's arms. He was brushing my hair out of my face and looking down at me with concerned eyes. The room smelled strongly of hyacinth, yet I didn't remember seeing any flowers.

_What just happened?_

"I'm sorry; I think I forgot to breathe." I struggled to sit up. His brow furrowed, but he let me go. My body felt cold without his warmth next to me, but I needed some space after my near faint.

Our earlier intimacy was gone. I stood awkwardly and walked toward my jacket. "I should be getting home. My dad will be wondering where I am."

"My car is nearby. Please, let me drive you." He was still looking at me with concern, like I might faint again.

"No, thank you. I've imposed enough on you for one afternoon." I began to put my jacket back on. In two long strides he was in front of me. He gazed down at me and very slowly brought his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek. Once again, I felt the rush of heat through my body. I made a conscious effort to breathe, lest I pass out again.

"It was no imposition, Bella, believe me." His voice was soft and husky. "Now, let me drive you home. It's getting colder out there, and your clothes haven't completely dried." His eyes were burning with intensity, his voice velvet but firm. I was utterly dazzled, and could do nothing but nod my head.

He led me to his car and opened the door for me, and then put my skis and poles in the back. I was still in somewhat of a daze as we drove back into town. When I told him I was getting too warm, we both reached for the heat control at the same time. When our hands touched he didn't flinch, but entwined his fingers with my own. He stole furtive glances at me throughout the drive, which made me blush a little.

He pulled into the driveway of my father's house, and I couldn't help but feel disappointed that my time with him was coming to an end. But, I realized that I needed time alone to think about my strange fainting spell.

"Bella, are you sure that you're okay?" He had leaned over towards me and was using his thumb to open my eyes and look into them. Checking my pupils, I guessed. Next, he placed his hand on my forehead.

_How romantic. _

"Can you tell me how you felt back at the cabin?" The doctor was in.

"Um, I sort of lost my vision, and then you were holding me." I left out the part about the other person I had seen. I didn't want him to think that I was crazy.

His eyes widened and then his brow furrowed. "What do you mean, 'lost your vision'?"

"I mean, my peripheral vision went black and everything became fuzzy. Except you and…" I stopped myself. He stared into my eyes as if he could will the information out of me.

"Me and what, Bella?"

"Just you. I could see you clearly. But I smelled flowers." I watched him frown. "Did you have flowers hidden somewhere?"

"Oh um, I sprayed some air-freshener to get rid of the smell of smoke." He turned and looked straight out in front of the car.

He frowned and huffed out a long breath, then got out of the car and began to walk around to my side. I had started to open the door when he took it and held it open for me. He held out his hand and helped me out. _My, what a gentleman —_ _trying to make up for his earlier behavior, perhaps?_

"Do you mind if I walk you to the door?" he asked softly. I appreciated his concern but I hated the fact that I had now become his patient.

"Thank you, but I'm fine now. I assure you that I will not faint again," I said tersely. He stared at me for a moment before replying.

"That's not why I want to walk you to the door." He ran his hand through his already tousled hair. "I was hoping to ask you out again, and I was trying to buy myself time to work up the courage."

"Oh. What do you mean, ask me out _again_?"

He smiled shyly. "Well, I guess I've started to think of our outing this afternoon as sort of a date. Is that horrible of me?"

I blushed again. This day was not turning out the way I had expected it to. "No, that's not horrible." We were both silent for a few moments more, then he took my hand and led me to my front door.

He brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face and inhaled deeply. "There are not a lot of romantic places in Forks, I'm afraid. But my brother and I go for drinks on Wednesdays. Would you like to come with us tomorrow?"

"So, I'd be on a date with you and your brother?" I smiled cheekily as his cheeks turned pink. I immediately felt guilty for embarrassing him.

He rubbed his hands with his face. "Ugh. I'm so terrible at this." He looked back at me again, a slight breeze blowing his hair into his face. "You're right, it's a terrible date. I'm sorry. We could go into Port Angeles for dinner, perhaps? There's a lovely little Italian place there…" He was speaking quickly, starting to panic.

"Edward, drinks with your brother would be lovely. I think it would be fun to meet some more people in town!" I smiled and gave in to the urge to brush his hair out of his face. He sighed in relief and smiled breathtakingly.

_How on Earth is a man this gorgeous so insecure about asking me out on a date? _

"Okay then! I will pick you up here at eight o'clock tomorrow. Don't eat a big supper, because Wednesday is burger and beers night. They have the BEST burgers!" He was so gleeful that he almost looked boyish. I giggled, and he pulled me into a hug. And being in his arms was so amazing that I never wanted him to let me go. I could die happy right here.

He kissed me gently on the forehead and released me, taking my hand. I sighed in disappointment and he looked down at me curiously.

"It's strange, I feel like I've known you for so long already," he mused. The sun was beginning to set. I hadn't realized how long I'd been gone.

"Me too," I admitted. He started to move his face closer to mine, and I held my breath in anticipation.

I almost jumped out of my skin when I heard a loud siren give a short burst and saw police lights flashing in front of the house. My father's voice boomed over his loudspeaker.

"Get your hands off my daughter, Cullen."

_Please, Earth, open up now and swallow me! _

The passenger's door opened, and my father stumbled out, guffawing loudly. I stormed over to him as his deputy sat in the driver's seat looking embarrassed.

"Christ, Charlie! You sound like a bloody donkey!" I yelled, furious and extremely embarrassed.

"Shit, Bella! You should have seen your face!" More donkey braying. Edward sauntered over to me, smiling.

"Starting early with the Christmas parties this year, Chief?" Edward smirked, crossing his arms in front of him. I inhaled deeply and realized that I could smell alcohol.

"Jesus Christ, Charlie, have you been _drinking_?" I practically shrieked. I knew that my father liked to imbibe on occasion, and became a bit of a practical joker when he did, but I'd never known him to drink on the job.

"Shhh, someone might call the cops!" Charlie stage whispered and then burst into hysterical laughter again. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Bella. The Legion is having their Christmas party and I just didn't change out of my uniform before I stopped by. I thought I'd just have a quick drink." He shrugged. "Oops!" More laughter.

I waved apologetically at Edward, who was chuckling to himself as he walked back to his car, then dragged Charlie inside and made him hang up his gun belt. Charlie gave me a big hug.

"I love you, little girl," he slurred, patting me on the back.

I sighed. "I love you too, Dad."

That night, I slept restlessly. My dreams were filled with memories of my encounter with Edward, entwined with visions of the black haired girl I had seen when I had almost fainted. There were other people in my dreams too. There was the elder Dr. Cullen with a lovely woman who looked like a fifties movie star, and a bulky man with dimples and dark hair with a beautiful blonde woman who had a scornful look on her face. Some of what I had dreamed were memories of our afternoon together, while other visions had not happened. All of my dreams were about Edward and me, and we were blissfully happy.

I awoke the next morning thinking of him. I desperately wanted to see him again, and later that night seemed too far away. I spent the day making freezer meals for Charlie while he was at work. I really didn't know how he didn't have scurvy or something of the sort, as there wasn't a single fruit or vegetable in the house. I guessed all the beer he drank kept his vitamin levels up. Edward called me in the afternoon, sounding almost as nervous as I was about our "date." It still didn't really seem like a date to me since his brother was going to be there, but I was looking forward to getting out and meeting some new people. My life in Phoenix had been so strict and regimented that I hadn't had much time for socialization. Renee could be a bit of a tyrant when it came to things like dance rehearsal and homework. She was living vicariously through me, since she had grown up poor and had had no opportunities for extracurricular activities.

Unless you count getting knocked up at nineteen.

Whenever I came to Forks, I tried to break out of my shell and live a little, though sometimes I tended to go a little overboard. I cringed, thinking about one of those times in particular.

_Jacob Black._

Putting the unpleasant thoughts out of my mind, I searched through Charlie's liquor cabinet for something to lubricate myself with while I waited for Edward to arrive. After pouring myself a rather large scotch, I looked through my closet for something to wear. I pulled out a sweater dress that I had bought for just such an occasion. It was tight and short, and I had the perfect pair of slouch boots with stiletto heels to go with it. Renee would absolutely hate it.

After I had my outfit and accessories on, I avoided looking in a mirror so I wouldn't psych myself out. Even though my stomach was warm and tingly from the scotch, I normally dressed very plainly and never wore anything form fitting, so tonight was a huge stretch for me. I went downstairs to wait for Edward to arrive.

When I heard his Volvo turn into the driveway, I waited. I figured I'd let him practice his manners some more. I heard a light tapping at the door and went to greet him.

_Oh. My. God._

The god of panty-soaking gorgeous men was favoring me today, because the juiciest, most lickable man I had ever seen now stood in my doorway. Edward's wool peacoat was unbuttoned, and he was adorned in black jeans that fit him like the designer had used a mold of his body for inspiration, with a white dress shirt and thin black tie. I felt the last of my Phoenix constraints fall to the floor as I stepped towards him. I met his gaze confidently as he stared down at me with his mouth slightly open.

"Bella. You look amazing," he breathed. I smiled alluringly, grabbed my coat, and stepped around him and out the door.

Ever the gentleman, he held the passenger door open for me and held my hand as I attempted to get into his car without flashing him or falling over. Apparently the gods of gracefulness were smiling on me today too.

_Yay, me!_

The pub was packed with people, and as we made our way to the back, people of all ages and genders stared. Many greeted Edward as Dr. Cullen, and I felt a little weird since this was a small town with only a handful of doctors, which meant that many of these people had been Edward's patients at one point or another. I kept my posture as straight as I could, trying to convince myself that I loved all the attention we were getting.

Edward led me to a table in the back, where a handsome blond man was seated, drinking a pint of Guinness and reading a book. He was wearing a black t-shirt that said "Humans Suck." As I sat down on the tall stool beside him, he closed the book and looked at us.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my brother, Jasper." Jasper looked at me appraisingly then turned back to Edward.

"Are we doing trivia night tomorrow?" He didn't even acknowledge me. I stomped at the insecure thoughts that were threatening to invade my peace of mind and instead imagined that Jasper was plagued with a social phobia that he hid by drinking copious amounts of alcohol, reading in a bar and generally being stand-offish.

_Yes, that must be it._

Edward placed his head on his hand. "Geez, Jasper! Can you at least pretend to have some social skills tonight?" He looked at me apologetically. "Jasper likes to give the first impression of being a total dick so that your opinion of him can only go up."

Jasper shrugged and picked up his book again. I felt like pointing out that Edward hadn't made the best first impression either, but I thought that might be rude. He'd turned out to be okay, so I thought I'd give Jasper another chance.

"What are you reading?" I tried to peek over to see Jasper's book. He angled the cover so that I could read it. _Zombie Economics: How Dead Ideas Still Walk Among Us_.

_Okay, then_.

When the waitress came to take our order, I decided to stay with scotch and ordered a Glenfiddich. Edward raised an eyebrow and Jasper finally looked interested.

"Do you prefer the twelve or fifteen year old?" Jasper asked. When I looked at him blankly, he told the waitress, "Fifteen." Looking back at me, "Always go for fifteen year old with Glenfiddich."

"Um, thanks?"

Edward ordered Oban. I had never even heard of it. It was most likely something that could not be afforded on a Police Chief's salary.

After we had ordered burgers and made idle chit chat for awhile, Edward excused himself, leaving me alone with Mr. Sociable.

"So, how long are you in town for, Bella?"

"Just for two weeks. I'm going home after New Year's."

"Do you visit your father often? Why have I not met you before?"

"Well, the last time I was here I spent a lot of time in La Push." I really didn't want to discuss that.

"And how long have you been friends with Edward?" Geez, I felt like I was being interrogated.

"Actually, we just met yesterday." He raised his eyebrows before his face took on a knowing expression. He leaned towards me and continued to ask questions about my interests. I wasn't sure if I imagined that he slid his chair closer to me. I guess the scotch was making me a little less observant.

When Edward returned, he paused before sitting down, frowning at Jasper. As Edward sat, he subtly pulled my chair away from Jasper and closer to him.

As the night wore on and our table was littered with empty glasses, Jasper became more friendly towards me, even flirtatious, while Edward's hands became braver, exploring my body while Jasper instructed me in everything from Zombie Economics to particle gravity.

They listened to my comments with interest and made me feel like I had important things to contribute to the conversation. I had never had more fun in my entire life. Apparently I was a geek at heart.

I met several of Edward and Jasper's cousins, and it seemed like they were related to a large number of people in Forks.

"Our family was part of the initial settlement here. The Cullens have always been known as healers in this area. Most of my family work in the health care field in some capacity," Edward informed me when I looked quizzically at him after having met Tyler, the fifth cousin of the evening.

I was nicely buzzed, so when Jasper took my hand and began caressing it under the guise of looking at my nails, I thought nothing of it. Edward glared openly at Jasper, before they both stiffened and got a far away look. Looking frantically between the two men, I smelled the same hyacinth scent that I had noticed after I had fainted at the cabin. Things got even stranger when the stereo stopped in the middle of the Arcade Fire song it had been playing and began to play a Leonard Cohen song. Jasper dropped my hand like it was coated in acid and stood so abruptly that he knocked over his chair.

He walked out without saying a word to either of us.

I looked at Edward, my mouth hanging open. He shrugged.

"That song reminds Jasper of our favorite aunt." He looked down at his hands. "She passed away at quite a young age." I took Edward's hand in mine, and he looked at me and smiled. "He was very fond of her. Once, when he was quite ill as a child, she sat at his bedside all night and sang Leonard Cohen songs to help him sleep."

"She must have been very special to him for him to react like he did just now."

"Oh yes, she's very special to him." He coughed into his hand. Was he suppressing a chuckle? No, of course not. I'd just had too much to drink.

We were silent for a moment, Edward rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. When our eyes met, the rest of the room disappeared and the space between us began to course with electricity. Sighing, he ran his hands down my arms and rested them on my hips.

"Bella, this isn't something that I normally do." His voice caught, and he seemed to be struggling. "I guess I'm lubricated enough, so I'll just come out and say it." He looked into my eyes and I gasped at the intensity I saw there. "You are beautiful. That's obvious. But, it's something else too. I dream about you. I think I even dreamed about you before I met you. I felt bereft without you today, and we only met yesterday. I want to touch you...no, I _need_ to touch you, Bella. I'm being so ungentlemanly tonight, pawing at you like I've been, but when Jasper started to pull that shit I just had to..."

I grabbed either side of his head and pulled him towards me, pressing my lips against his. He responded immediately, burying one hand in my hair while the other pressed against my lower back and pulled me closer to him. My senses were overcome by his heat and my mind swirled with his scent.

"Way to go, Dr. C!" We were abruptly reminded of where we were by the other patrons hooting and cheering. Having had enough scotch to stave off the embarrassment that might have normally caused, I stood up and took Edward's hand.

"Take me home, Edward."

He stood and pulled me to him. "Can I take you home with _me_?" he murmured in my ear. I could feel his hot breath on my skin and my knees almost buckled.

"That's what I meant." I heard a low moan escape him before he took my hand and led me quickly through the bar, giving an embarrassed smile to those who felt the need to cheer him on as we left. I was beginning to lose some of my bravado and I kept my eyes down until we were outside.

"Um, I probably shouldn't drive. Let me just make a call." He pulled out a cell phone.

A taxi arrived and we crawled into the back seat together. We were quiet during the drive home. Edward rubbed my knee reassuringly every so often as I tried to keep my nerves at bay. I had never gone home with someone after only knowing them for two days. Jake and I had hung out as friends every summer since we were children before we ventured into a sexual relationship.

_And look how that turned out._

I refused to think about Jake right now. This was so very different; I felt drawn to Edward and apparently he felt the same. The dream I had last night had only intensified those feelings, as ridiculous as that sounded. There was no way I could turn back now. I needed to feel his touch like I needed air to breathe.

It was dark when we pulled up to his house, but I could tell by the dim lights that it was enormous. It was obvious that this was not the small cabin in which we had spent the afternoon. Tucked away in the lush woods, there were no other houses in sight. I was surprised that the taxi would drive out here.

When we stepped through the front door, Edward took my coat and led me into the living room. The interior was decorated with a combination of chic, contemporary furniture that looked like it belonged in an expensive penthouse, as well as ornate wooden furniture that looked as though it had been in the family for generations. It was a strange combination, but it worked.

"This is my family's original house, with some additions over the years of course." He watched me as I ran my fingers along an antique cabinet filled with old books and then wandered over to the mantel to look at the photographs.

There was a family photo, and I recognized a younger Edward and Jasper, and the senior Dr. Cullen. I gasped when I recognized the woman from my dream – the fifties movie star.

"What is it?" I hadn't realized that Edward was directly behind me.

"I dreamed of her last night." I pointed at the photo of the woman who could only be his mother.

"Really?" He turned me toward him, and he was beaming. Before I could ponder how odd this was, he began stroking my face, his face inches away from mine. I lost all coherent thought.

"Dance with me, Bella." I hadn't noticed the music playing. Before I could protest, I was in Edward's arms, swaying slowly to the sultry rhythm. We danced together in silence for a few songs, our bodies gradually becoming more entwined, our breathing becoming louder.

"I've never felt this way before, Bella. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you." His eyes were scorching, and my heart leapt at his words.

"Oh, Edward, I feel the same." I wrapped my arms around his neck and tried to bring him toward me for a kiss, but he resisted me. I frowned.

"Bella," his voice was hoarse, "If I kiss you now, I won't be able to stop. I should be a gentleman and go slow." His breath drifted across my cheek as his hands ran down my back and rested on my hips.

Flames exploded in my stomach and I let out an involuntary moan.

"I don't want you to be a gentleman," I breathed.

"Oh, God." He rested his forehead against mine. His lips were so close...

Taking my hand, he led me towards the stairs.

We made it up the stairs and into a large bedroom with an ornate iron king-sized bed and an ensuite bathroom. He shut the door and, before I could move, I found myself pressed up against it, Edward's lips hungrily devouring mine. His hands grabbed my hips and lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me over to the bed without once breaking our kiss and laid me down on it. He pushed up my dress with one hand, while the other pulled at the neckline so he could have access to my breasts. He was frantic, his hands everywhere as if he was trying to touch all of me at once, and My God, did I want him to. My dress and bra were soon twisted around my waist and I was madly grappling with the buttons on his shirt. I needed to gain some control before we ended up tied together by our clothing.

_Hmm, would that be so bad?_

Using my arms and legs, I tried to maneuver our bodies so that he was underneath me and I could shed my twisted clothing and work on getting him out of his. He got the hint and rolled over, pulling me on top of him.

When we had shed all our clothing, I laid my body fully on top of his. We both moaned at the sensation of skin on skin, the heat of our bodies coalescing into a blazing inferno. I moved my legs so they were on either side of his hips, and I could feel his hardness between my legs. If I just moved my hips a fraction...

"Bella. Condom. In my nightstand." Edward's voice was breathless. I put my head against his neck to regain my senses enough so I could find the damned condom.

As I moved my body off of his, he let out a small whimper. Feeling a little smug, I opened the drawer of the nightstand. I slammed it shut immediately.

_What. The. FUCK?_

"What is it?" Edward sat up, frowning. I opened the drawer again and pointed at the offending items. I couldn't breathe, it was like I had just been punched in the sternum. My stomach felt as though I was being flayed, and I tried to hold back the tears that burned my eyes. It was a familiar feeling, reminding me of a similar occurrence in my past, but intensified by a thousand.

Neatly stacked on top of the box of condoms were photos of a beautiful blonde woman, wearing nothing but a come-hither smile. Edward began cursing under his breath as he picked them up and stared at them.

_Take a picture, it'll last longer. Oh, wait. You did._

One fell onto the bed facedown. I didn't touch it – God only knows what he'd been doing while looking at those photos. Written on the back of the photo in loopy cursive handwriting was "I will remember this night forever. Love, Tanya."

Edward sat perfectly still, staring at the photo in his hands. Every muscle in his body was taut, and I watched as he slowly crumpled the picture in his fist. He repeated the process with the rest of the photos while I got up and attempted to sort out my clothing.

"Where are you going?" His voice was tight, almost a growl. He was still kneeling on the bed, head turned toward me.

I tried to regain my composure enough to speak.

"I'm leaving. I do not involve myself with men who are already spoken for." My voice shook with rage and unshed tears.

"It's not what you think." He still hadn't moved, his fists balled tightly.

"Yes, well. I've heard that before. And it was exactly what I thought." I managed to get my dress over my head, grabbed my underwear, shoes and stockings in a pile.

As I ran down the stairs, I heard a guttural wail and a loud crash. While I struggled to get my shoes on, I remembered that I didn't have a car.

_Could this night get any worse?_

I plopped down on the couch and put my head in my hands, trying to hold back the sobs that threatened to spill forth. I guess I'd have to call Charlie. This was going to be awkward. Rifling through my purse for my cell phone, I froze when the scent of hyacinth hit me. I looked around for flowers, but there were none. My vision began to recede like it had in the cabin and I put my head between my knees.

"Bellaaa..." a voice whispered. When I looked up, I saw the black haired girl before me, like a shadow. I felt myself leaving my body...footsteps...falling quickly on the stairs...and then I was falling too.

"Bella!" An angel was yelling at me. Was I in trouble? "Dammit, what are you trying to do to her?"

Warm fingers ran through my hair. _Hmm, that's nice_. The angel made my stomach feel better. And I could breathe when he touched me. It didn't hurt as much anymore.

"Bella, sweetheart, can you hear me?" The angel sounded worried. I opened my eyes so that he wouldn't worry anymore, and immediately wished that I hadn't. When my eyes focused enough to see that my angel was none other than Edward, the lying bastard, my guts were ripped out all over again.

I shouldn't be feeling this torn up. It's not like I had any sort of claim on Edward; I had only known him for two days. What had I expected?

_Well, I didn't expect him to lie to me like that._

I certainly didn't expect that _I_ would ever be the other woman. After what Jacob had done to me, I vowed to never get involved with a man who was with someone else. No matter how right it felt, or how drawn we were to each other.

_Is this what it had felt like when Jacob met_ her? He had used those exact words. He had felt that Vanessa had been destined for him, and that he had little choice in the matter.

_Well, I have a choice. I will not make anyone feel like I did. _I stood up and turned to go.

"Please! Don't go!" Acute pain slashed through my limbs as I tried to walk away from Edward. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. It was almost crippling, and I stumbled.

Edward caught me, and I let the tears come. He held me tightly against him, whispering soothing words while I soaked his shirt. I felt like I was seriously losing my mind.

"Edward," I hiccupped, "what the hell is going on?"

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry this is happening, but please, _please_ let me explain! I cannot bear to watch you walk away from me again. It hurts too much."

"Then you'd better tell me right now who the hell Tanya is!" I struggled to get out of his embrace, and he sighed as he released me. We sat next to each other on the floor, our backs against the couch.

"Tanya was my wife."

"Was?" I raised an eyebrow at him, my arms crossed in front of me.

He looked down, his voice low and soft. "She's dead, Bella. She died two years ago in a car accident. With her _lover_." He looked at me imploringly, his voice stronger now. "I didn't take those pictures. I've never seen them before-_he_ must have taken them." He looked down again and whispered quickly, "I have no idea how they got there."

I stared at him for a moment with my mouth open. He shifted uncomfortably under my astonished gaze, so I tried to get a hold of myself.

"That's weird. How would pictures that a dead guy took end up in your bedroom two years later?" I asked, still somewhat suspicious. Edward's face blanched and he squirmed uncomfortably. He wasn't doing a very good job of gaining my confidence.

"Bella, there are some things about my family that you should know, but I don't know if you're going to believe me."

"Try me. All I ask is that you are honest with me."

"I desperately want to tell you everything. I want you to know me, to know everything about me. And I want to know absolutely everything about you, too. But I'm worried, Bella. No one outside of the family knows the things that I need to tell you." I felt myself softening toward him, his desperate eyes finally melting my skepticism and weakening what was left of my resolve.

"We know so little about each other," I whispered, turning toward him. He nodded and took my hand in his. "I was cheated on too." I heard his sharp intake of breath. "My story's not nearly as heartbreaking as yours, but I guess I have an inkling of how you feel." He reached out his hand and placed it on my cheek. He rested his forehead against mine and I continued.

I took a deep breath and told him about Jacob. How we had grown up together during my summers in Forks, and he had been my first everything. My only everything. How I had applied to college in Seattle so I could be closer to him. How during my annual summer visit after I had graduated from high school, I had excitedly driven straight to his house after Charlie had picked me up from the airport, intent on surprising him. But I had been the one who was surprised. I had let myself into his house and walked into his living room, where he was lying on the couch.

With a woman riding him like she was about to win the Derby.

She had looked on sympathetically as he had explained how they'd met, how they had been drawn to one another. How he couldn't be without her. I couldn't believe that she had sat there, witnessing my humiliation. I wanted to scratch the sympathy right off her face.

I didn't go to school that year; I didn't want to be anywhere near Forks. Renee had freaked out. I told her that I wanted to work for awhile and save up some more money, even though she had made sure that I had had a healthy college fund. That extra year with Renee was hell. Looking back, I wondered if most of my resentment towards Jacob came from the fact that he had cheated, or the fact that I had been stuck with Renee's brand of stifling parenting for an extra year. I should have just sucked it up and gone to school. Seattle was far enough away from La Push that I wouldn't have had to see him.

As I told my story to Edward, it didn't seem as bad as I had built it up to be in my mind. I started to feel less angry and resentful towards Jacob. It was actually kind of cathartic to have someone to talk about these things with. Having Edward hold and comfort me made me forget all the negative feelings that I was holding on to.

Or maybe it was that I finally had some positive emotions to replace the negative ones.

He got up off the floor and went to start a fire. I hadn't realized how chilly it had become. Looking out the window, I saw that it was snowing quite heavily and I could see the wind whipping through the trees. This was likely the most snow that Forks had ever seen. It was going to be my first white Christmas.

Edward pulled me up off the floor and onto the couch. He wrapped his arms around me, and I pulled my legs up and scooted closer to him, snuggling into his chest as he stroked my hair. I had never felt cherished like this before, like I belonged here. It was blissful.

We cuddled together quietly for a few minutes, then he cleared his throat.

"Bella, there is so much I should tell you, but I'm scared to. I'm scared that you won't believe me, or worse, that you'll think I'm crazy and leave. I couldn't bear it." I looked up at him and saw the uncertainty in his features. I couldn't deny that I was worried about what he had to say, but I needed to decide if I was in this or not. With the intense connection between us, it was becoming clear that we could not do this casually. It was all or nothing. Could I let down the barriers and give him my heart completely?

Did I have a choice?

After a shaky breath, I steeled myself and looked directly into his eyes so that he could see the conviction of my words. "Edward, I'm in this with you. All in." His eyes widened and his lips parted in surprise. "I couldn't bear to leave now, so that means that whatever you have to say, I will trust you completely." He hugged me so fiercely that I could barely breathe, then his lips were on mine and I completely forgot what we had been talking about.

I whined when he pulled away, and he chuckled. "Bella, you have no idea what this means to me, for you to accept me like this." He frowned. "I just hope you don't change your mind after you hear what I have to say."

"Edward, stop it. What could be so bad? Just tell me." I was starting to get very nervous.

He shifted us so that we were facing each other on the couch, took both of my hands in his, and began.

"So, there's an old legend that talks about my ancestors and the Quileutes." He paused for a moment and looked at me. I tried to keep my face passive so that he would continue. "Like I've said, we've always been known as healers in the area. The first Dr. Cullen's wife was a midwife. Shortly after they arrived, they came across a Quileute woman who was in labor. She was having a very difficult labor and was weakening quickly. Her husband and other women in the tribe had tried everything they knew of to help her, but she was fading quickly and the baby was in trouble. My great-great..." he paused, "etcetera, Grandmother had seen this before and knew exactly what to do."

"Okay, so this is where it gets weird." He put his hands on my shoulders and began rubbing up and down my arms. Exhaling deeply, he continued. "According to the legend, the woman's husband was a powerful shaman. He was so grateful to my ancestors for saving his wife and child that he blessed them and all future generations with the gift of healing, as well as..." He stopped and closed his eyes.

"As well as what, Edward?" I rubbed his thighs, intending to soothe him, but when I looked down at his pants I noticed that it was having a different effect. He put his hands on mine to still them and gave me a sheepish grin.

"As well as the ability to visit the living once they died," he blurted out so quickly I wasn't sure I had heard him correctly. He cringed and looked at me, giving me a moment to process what he'd just said.

"Visit the living. As in...ghosts?" I tried the word out, and it sounded even more ridiculous than it did when it was just in my head. But, I had promised to trust Edward. And how else could I explain the things I had been seeing? "Okay, continue." I would keep an open mind. For him.

He stared at me, as if waiting for me to run away screaming. Part of me wanted to do just that.

"Um, we haven't seen too much of the ghosts since my parents died. It's like they try to get through, but they can't quite. I don't know why. But, I think my wife is haunting me."

"It sounds like your entire family is haunting you, Edward." I smiled and he rolled his eyes. "Wait, how is your wife able to come back? She's only a Cullen through marriage."

"That's exactly how she's able to come back. Because she was married to me. But I don't mean she's haunting me like the rest of the family does. I mean she's doing things. That day we met at the cabin? I didn't start that fire. I go to the cabin to be alone and uh...drown my sorrows, I guess." He looked at me sheepishly. "That day, I found our wedding photos, as well as our marriage license in the cabin. I had no idea how they had gotten there. Then, they just combusted, right in front of me. It scared the shit out of me. I grabbed the fire extinguisher to put it out. And then you stumbled into my life." He gave me a crooked smile, and _I_ almost combusted right in front of him.

"So, you think..." I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud; it still sounded so ridiculous.

"I think she started the fire that day, and I think she put those pictures in my nightstand. I don't know what she's trying to do – I hadn't met you yet when she started the fire. Still, I don't know why she'd want to sabotage my relationship with you. It wasn't like _she_ hadn't moved on while she was alive – why doesn't she want _me_ to move on?" His shoulders sagged and he looked down at our hands. I felt conflicted. This whole situation was so far out of my comfort zone, and I didn't deal well out of my comfort zone. But I felt so awful for Edward. What a horrible person his wife must have been. She cheated on him, got herself killed, and now haunts him when he tries to move on with his life. I needed to be here for him.

"Edward, that is the craziest thing that I have ever heard." He stiffened, and I rushed to reassure him. "And I believe every word." His shoulders relaxed and he rested his forehead against mine.

"Thank you," he whispered. "You have no idea how much this means to me, to be able to tell you this." His hands were wandering up my legs. "I was so scared that you'd bolt. I still am, to be honest." His hands rested on my hips. "Are you really here with me? Or am I dreaming again?"

I entwined my fingers in his hair. "I'm here, Edward. And I'm not going anywhere. Well, unless you boot me out."

"Never," he growled, and then his lips were on mine. Hesitantly, uncertainly. I tried to deepen the kiss, but he was resisting me. I could almost hear his brain working overtime.

"Edward, stop. I'm not her. I would never hurt you."

He pulled me to him so tightly that I could barely breathe. "Can I be enough? You deserve so much more," he whispered. This needed to stop now. I was completely his after only two days, and he needed to know it.

"Baby, stop this." His head was buried between my neck and shoulder. "Look at me." No movement. "Edward, stop hiding and look at me. Now." With a deep breath he complied. He looked so vulnerable, like one harsh word from me could send him running. No doubt it would.

"This is so weird...we've only just met." My palms were damp with sweat. _Tell him_. _Deep breath...here it goes_. "I...I think I'm falling in love with you, Edward." He gasped. I closed my eyes and waited for him to tell me that we were moving too fast.

"Oh, Bella." He crashed his lips to mine, pushing my body down onto the couch. He began to place searing hot, wet kisses along my jaw, down my neck... "I think I loved you before I even met you." The hemline of my dress was inching its way up once more as his tongue worked its way under the neckline of my dress. "You were an angel that I thought I could only dream about." He stopped and looked at me, his gaze deadly in its seriousness. "I think the dreams were my family telling me that you were coming. That you were meant for me, and that I didn't have to be alone."

_Wow._

He looked down at me lovingly, and my heart almost stopped. No one had ever looked at me like that before. He ran his fingers tantalizingly slowly down the side of my face.

His voice was a hoarse whisper. "Bella, I don't think I can be gentle. This has all been so much, I feel as if I might explode. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me. Just let go." He began kissing me again, but I could tell that he was still holding back. His body almost vibrated from the sexual energy that was waiting to be unleashed.

I took control of the kiss, slipping my fingers into his hair and pulling his face closer to mine. His hands began to travel lightly down my body, and I arched my back to press my body into his. I needed more.

"Edward, I need you. Please!" I reached down between our bodies and grasped his erection through his jeans.

He made a noise that began as a moan and ended as a feral growl, announcing the end to his composure. He began to consume me.

Grasping...

Pushing...

Pulling...

Tearing...

He was out of control. I felt as though I was being devoured; I couldn't move as Edward's body completely dominated mine. Lips sucked, teeth nipped, hands pressed firmly into my flesh; I would surely have bruises as a titillating reminder of this night.

And his tongue...

God of all things holy and rapturous, his tongue was quickly and rhythmically driving me to the brink of insanity.

There was no one in my world but Edward. Every one of my senses was focused on him and the pleasure that he was giving me. His heat consumed me. His body owned me. I was being violently pulled under by the current of lust crashing over me, and I wanted to let myself drown in him.

When I felt his hardness at my entrance, I looked at his face. I was completely and utterly staggered by the intensity of his gaze. His mouth was open wide as he gasped for breath.

In one swift motion he impaled me, his lips crashing onto mine. I screamed into his mouth as he began to pound relentlessly into me, his hands on my head to hold me in place. I pulled at his hair and grabbed at his shoulders, trying desperately to pull him impossibly closer. He was hitting all the right spots, and I soon began to feel a vortex swirling deep in my core, getting tighter and tighter as he thrust harder and deeper with every pass. We were not quiet, as indescribable noises ripped from our mouths as we both careened out of control toward the peak of ecstasy.

I hung on to him for dear life, my nails digging deep into his shoulders as I was finally and completely sucked into the undertow, the weight of the current pressing heavily on my body until the room around me disappeared and the maelstrom inside me exploded, sending wave upon wave of almost unbearable ecstasy straight through me. His own screams mingled with mine as his release took him right along with me, and we clung to each other- wet, sweaty, and panting as we stared at each other in awe, trying to comprehend what had just happened between us.

To say it had been the best sex I had ever had would completely understate what we had just experienced together.

I was overcome by exhaustion and before I could protest, Edward had wrapped me in his arms, carrying me to his bedroom. He laid me on the sheets reverently and brushed my hair out of my face. Crawling in beside me, he pulled my body so that my back pressed up against his chest and wrapped his arms around me, snuggling me. His hand settled on my breast.

"Sleep well, my love," I heard him say as I fell asleep.

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Thanks for reading. Chapter 2 will be up shortly!


	2. Chapter 2 Christmas Eve

Thanks again to Project Team Beta, Wendy5542, Jointgifts and HollettLA

I'd really love for you to hear Holly Cole's version of "What is this Lovely Fragrance", but its not on You Tube and I don't know how to share my copy with you. Can someone help?

**Disclaimer: **The characters and original text of the Twilight series are owned by Stephenie Meyer. All other characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author of this entry is in no way associated with said owners and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Sunlight streamed through the window. I was on the edge of the bed and there was something very warm wrapped around me.

The very warm something was snoring.

I tried to detach myself and get out of bed without disturbing him, but I was tangled in the sheet and teetering precariously on the edge of the bed. I shifted my weight slightly and misjudged exactly how little space I had, but as I was about to flip onto the floor, strong arms scooped me up and rolled me on top of a warm, hard body.

Feeling Edward's body under mine caused my mind to recall images from the night prior, and I blushed as my entire body flooded with heat.

"Well, good morning," Edward said sleepily.

"Good morning to you," I replied, my voice husky and breathy, unlike the playful tone I had been aiming for.

"You were restless last night." He ran his fingers lightly down my back, tickling me. I squirmed, and he moaned.

"I had some really weird dreams." I played with the hair on his chest.

"Do you want to talk about them?" He began to plant kisses along my shoulder and up my neck.

"No, definitely not," I breathed. His hands were running down my body and I was about to align our bodies so that we could join once more when I heard the door open. Before I could blink I was flipped onto my back and covered with Edward's body.

"Holy shit!" Jasper shouted, covering his eyes.

"Get out!" Edward shouted back.

I had completely forgotten about Jasper. Had he been here last night? I looked up at Edward, panic evident on my face.

"Don't worry. Jasper was _occupied_ in his room last night. He wouldn't have heard if the house blew down around him." I raised my eyebrows, waiting for an explanation.

"Oh, um. Remember how I mentioned our Aunt Alice?" I nodded. "Well, she, uh...visits him."

"Okay..." This was so weird.

"And they're madly in love." He cringed, looking at me through his lashes.

"Never mind that she's dead - they're related!" This was by far the strangest conversation I had ever had.

"Well, only by marriage," he said defensively. "She was married to my great-great-grandfather's brother." _Oh, well, okay then. _

"Wait...what! She's married!_" _Part of me was expecting Charlie to come laughing out of the closet, having played one of his drunken practical jokes.

_God, I hope Charlie's not in the closet. _

"Yeah, I don't really know the story there. You'll have to ask Jasper."

I can just imagine that conversation. _"Oh, hey there, Jasper! Um, so I hear your a necrophiliac adulterer? Cool." _

"Poor Jasper...in love with a ghost," I mused. "Can't he find a living girl?"

Edward cringed and looked around, as if looking for something.

Or someone.

"What?" Then it hit me. "Oh my God! Is she here?" I almost screeched.

"No! Although I wouldn't put it past her to barge in here. She's been trying to contact you, you know." _Oh my. _

"Does she have short, black hair?" My voice was getting higher in pitch.

"Yes...wait, you've _seen_ her?" He looked at me in disbelief.

"Yes, I saw her at the cabin when I fainted, and again last night." This was really freaking me out.

"Oh my God, Bella - no one outside the family has ever seen one of our family ghosts before. No wonder you fainted! It's quite the experience, isn't it?" I just nodded my head.

"But back to your initial question, no, Jasper will never find a living girl. Alice has been it for him since he was 10 years old."

"That's so sad. He's going to spend his whole life in love with a ghost?"

Edward's face turned solemn. "He'll be with her soon enough," he whispered. I blinked. "Jasper has had a rare auto-immune disease since he was a child. It's why he lives with me – I take care of him when he gets sick. It's been getting worse lately. There's not much more I can do for him." He turned away from me, and when I tried to pull his face back towards me he resisted. When he finally looked at me, there were tears in his eyes.

"I am so thankful that he has Alice. Our family is so fortunate – we actually have an idea of what awaits us when we go. But it still doesn't take away the hurt." I held him tightly, and he buried his face in my hair.

A series of loud yells and curses broke us out of our moment. Edward and I jumped out of bed and grabbed at whatever clothes we could find. We exchanged salacious grins when I picked up what was left of my dress, and Edward quickly handed me his shirt.

When we arrived in the kitchen, Jasper was on his back under the sink, a tool box on the floor beside him. Water was spraying everywhere, and he was struggling to get out of the way.

Edward stopped and burst out laughing.

"Get over here and help me, you asshole!" Jasper bellowed.

When the crisis was taken care of, Jasper sat sopping wet at the kitchen table, examining a ring.

"This was in the pipe. Is it yours, Bella?" I shook my head. I'd never even been in the kitchen. When Edward saw what Jasper was holding, he froze.

"Edward? What is it?"

"Tanya's wedding ring." His voice was flat. I gasped and reflexively stepped back towards the doorway. Edward looked at me anxiously.

"Don't go!" he whispered, eyes wide.

I went to him immediately and he enveloped me in his arms.

_This is where I belong. _

"Why is she doing this?" I said into his bare chest.

Jasper choked a little. "She knows? What the hell, Edward?"

"She's seen Alice. Twice."

Jasper nodded his head and frowned, looking at the floor.

"Jasper?" Edward frowned at his brother. "What are you hiding?"

Jasper walked over to the fridge and banged his head against the door. "Shit. She's going to kill me!"

Edward's fists were balled at his side. "Tell me. Now," he ground out through gritted teeth.

Jasper sighed loudly and turned to face Edward. "Don't freak out, okay? Tanya was pregnant when she died. Alice told me that Tanya had been trying to break it off with James when they had the accident. The baby must have been yours."

Edward laughed humorlessly. "No, the baby was not mine. But I'd make a better provider than an unemployed stock broker, so of course she'd tell him it was."

I touched Edward's arm lightly. "How do you know the baby wasn't yours?" I had to ask.

Edward relaxed slightly at my touch. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side.

"Because Tanya and I hadn't had sex in over 6 months. I had begun to suspect that she was having an affair." My heart broke for Edward. How could anyone treat him so? I hugged him fiercely, and he moaned softly into my hair.

"Ugh. Good thing I haven't had breakfast yet. Nothing to puke up." Jasper muttered as he pulled eggs out of the fridge.

"Jasper makes the best huevos rancheros ever. Will you stay for breakfast?" Edward looked hopefully at me. I glanced at Jasper to see if he minded, but he just looked at me, waiting for my answer.

"I don't want to be a bother," I hedged. Jasper rolled his eyes. _Fine then_. "I'd love to stay, thank you." He pulled a couple more eggs out of the fridge.

"So, Bella. What are you doing for Christmas Eve?" Edward asked shyly, and Jasper stopped what he was doing again and looked at the two of us, wonder in his eyes.

"Oh, not much. Charlie will probably go drinking in La Push. I won't be joining him." I said sourly.

"We have quite the celebration here – you should join us." He looked tentatively at Jasper, who shrugged and went back to his breakfast preparations.

"Really? You're having a Christmas Eve party? That sounds great!"

Edward laughed and kissed my hair. "I think you'll really enjoy it. There's something you really need to see." I looked at him suspiciously. "You'll love it, I promise!" I looked at Jasper, who just nodded his head at me.

The next week flew by, and I got to spend a good portion of it with Edward. He had taken some time off from the hospital, and we went Christmas shopping in Seattle, where he kept disappearing and reappearing with more and more shopping bags, grinning evilly at me when I tried unsuccessfully to peek into one. We were so relaxed and carefree around each other; it felt like we had known each other for years, not days.

We didn't talk about the strange things that had occurred between our first night together and Christmas Eve, but I often noticed Edward watching me with concerned eyes. If I hadn't known Edward's secret, I would have completely freaked out when we stumbled into his bedroom, frantically undressing each other, and found a satin nightie that did not belong to me flung across the bed. Edward had tossed it into the trash and carried me into the spare bedroom.

And I didn't mention the fact that I'd never had a hot shower at Edward's house. I had just started making excuses and showering at home. Or having record-setting speed showers.

Someone did _not_ want me around, that was clear. We were going to have to talk about it, but we were in such high spirits coming into the holiday season that I didn't want to taint it. I think Edward felt the same. But I worried for our future.

Not because I lived in Phoenix and he lived in Forks; I was a writer – I could live pretty much anywhere. Besides, I really needed to put a few states between me and my over-bearing mother.

How long were we going to be haunted by his dead wife? What could we do about it? I felt silly suggesting a Medium, but maybe we'd have to resort to that? I needed to be able to take a hot shower if I was going to continue to stay over.

I resolved to speak to Edward about our future after Christmas. He and Jasper were so excited about their Christmas Eve party that they reminded me of two little boys waiting for Santa to fill their stockings.

Hmm, maybe that was the surprise Edward kept referring to? With all the craziness I had witnessed, I really wouldn't be surprised if Santa showed up.

On Christmas Eve, Edward picked me up early in the afternoon so I could help with preparations. Only the extended Cullen family were coming, but the night we had been at the pub it had seemed like that included a good portion of the town.

After dinner I changed into the dress that I had brought for the party. As I was fixing my hair in Edward's bathroom, he entered.

His eyes travelled up and down my body before he stepped behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"You are so beautiful," he breathed.

"You're not so bad yourself," I replied, as I took in his navy suit and black shirt. He watched as I made the finishing touches to my make-up, then turned me toward him.

"You may see some strange things tonight. Be prepared, okay?" He looked at me worriedly.

"Do you think that _she'll_ do anything tonight?" I didn't want him to know, but I was actually a little frightened.

He sighed heavily. "I really don't know. I hope not. But in case something happens, I just want you to know..." he paused, stroking my cheek, "I love you, Bella."

Tears sprang to my eyes. "Oh, Edward..." I whispered. "I love you, too."

"No matter what, we'll stick together, right?"

"Right," I agreed, and he kissed me tenderly.

"Hey, get down here; it's almost time!" Jasper hollered. Edward grinned and put his hand on my lower back as we made our way downstairs. I could feel the excitement rolling off him, and even Jasper seemed in a sociable mood.

_I wonder if Alice is going to show up tonight? _I hoped that I would have some warning, so I could at least sit down first. Maybe now that I knew about her I'd be able to see her without passing out.

When we arrived downstairs, I was surprised to see that the party was in full swing. I recognized some of Edward's cousins that I'd met at the pub, and he soon began introducing me to his many aunts and uncles. Everyone seemed to accept my presence at this family event without question - I wondered if Edward had warned them ahead of time that I'd be there.

There was a hushed sense of anticipation around the room, and as people quietly mingled I saw them frequently glance around the room.

Edward went to get me a glass of wine. I was speaking with his aunt Irina when the room was suddenly filled with glittery white flakes.

It was snowing.

Inside the house.

_I think this is my cue to sit down. _

I excused myself from Irina to go sit on the couch, but she wasn't paying attention to me anymore. Looking around the room for Edward, I saw that everyone had stopped what they were doing.

The lights dimmed, and the music on the stereo stopped mid-'Chestnuts Roasting'. A lone snare drum began playing a simple rhythm. I heard the low voice of Holly Cole begin to sing.

_What is this fragrance, softly stealing..._

The room was filled with so many different scents at once that they were beginning to mix together, but I could make out a few of them-cinnamon, lavender, chocolate, vanilla...and hyacinth.

The room was suddenly a bustle of movement, and twice as full as it had been a moment ago. People rushed to greet each other, and the hushed anticipation from before was replaced with squeals of excitement and loud, boisterous greetings.

The next song was a lively Latin rendition of _Deck the Halls_. I sat on the couch, gaping at the scene around me.

I exhaled when I saw Edward approaching me, a wide smile on his face. I started to stand up and go to him, but I gasped and sat down again when I saw who was with him.

His parents.

They weren't translucent, or in black and white. They weren't wearing sheets or dressed in tattered old grave clothes. They looked fully alive and well, and they were on their way over to meet me.

"Breathe, Bella." Edward was at my side now, looking at me with concern. I inhaled shakily and stood up.

"Bella, it's so lovely to finally meet you. I'm Esme." Edward's mother took my hand in hers, and I felt a light tingling sensation, like my hand had fallen asleep.

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you again." Carlisle smiled brightly at me. Edward was looking at me warily, like he was still expecting the running and screaming.

_Get a grip - these are his parents!_

I shook my head softly to try to regain some composure and smiled back at Edward's parents.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Esme. And to see you again, Carlisle."

I felt Edward relax beside me.

"I know this is a lot to take in. You're doing splendidly! We tried to prepare you a bit, but we've been having some difficulty..." Carlisle stopped as my eyes went wide.

Esme wrapped her arm around my waist and helped me sit down. "Bella dear, I have to tell you that we've had our eye on you for some time now." She looked at me sympathetically. "Not intrusively or anything like that, we've just known for awhile that you were meant for our Edward, and, well, sometimes we maybe put our noses in where we shouldn't." I still must have looked panicked, because she turned to Carlisle. "Honey, help me out here?"

"Ah, here's the person we need." Carlisle was looking behind me, and when I turned around I saw Jasper with his arm wrapped around a tiny girl with black hair.

_Alice._

She squealed when my eyes met hers, and bounced around the couch to sit beside me. When she wrapped her arms around me in a tingly hug, Edward's eyes widened.

"Alice!" he scolded. I'm sure he thought I'd bolt for sure, now. But it actually felt right being hugged by Alice.

"It's okay, Edward." I smiled at her as she released me. Edward ran his hand through his hair and Jasper laughed buoyantly.

_Wow, that's a sound I've never heard before._

"I'm so happy that I can finally talk to you! I've been trying so hard, but you two were just being impossible, and we didn't have much time, and then all that stuff happened..." Alice spoke so fast I could barely make out what she was saying. I must have looked rather bewildered, because she stopped and patted me on the leg.

"I'm sorry. Let me explain. Edward, you may want to hear this as well." Edward replaced his mother on the couch next to me. Esme walked over to Jasper and embraced him warmly.

"So Edward, you've noticed that we haven't really been around much the last couple of years, right?" He nodded. "Well, I don't want to put any pressure on you or anything, but you see, you're the head of the Cullen family now...and well...you're all alone, and..." Edward was openly glaring at her.

"Spit it out, Alice!"

"Geez, okay! We thrive on positive emotions. The reason we always come at Christmas is because that's when the family is feeling the most generous, and most importantly, loving. With you being Mr. Grinch these last couple of years, we haven't been able to come out as easily." She looked at me. "Usually we can manage quick individual visits even when it's not Christmas, but we haven't even been able to manage that, as you know. I'm sorry if I freaked you out." She looked contrite. "I just really needed you and Edward to realize that you're meant for each other, so that we could all come out this Christmas!"

I looked up at Edward, and his eyes were full of emotion. He pulled me to him and kissed my hair.

"Plus, we want to make sure the right people get into the family." She gave Edward a knowing look and frowned as she quickly muttered this last statement.

"Excuse me, what?"

"So, wanna meet the rest of the family?" She grabbed my hand and bounced cheerfully as she dragged me off the couch.

I had never had so much fun at a party, ever. The Cullens were a lively bunch, even if most of them weren't actually alive. I recognized some of them from the dreams I'd been having. Edward's great-grandfather, Emmett, was a hoot and regaled me with stories of the Seattle jazz bars that he had frequented in the 1920's.

"I can't believe you saw Jelly Roll Morton play!" I had always loved jazz music, and often wished I had been around in the twenties to see it emerge. Emmett's wife, Rosalie, just rolled her eyes. Apparently she'd heard this story more times than she cared to.

Edward was playing the piano for Alice, who joyfully sang Christmas carols in her trilling soprano voice, when he suddenly froze. The dissonant chord he had landed on rang out in the ensuing silence.

A beautiful blonde woman was slowly walking toward him, her hands out in contrition. Alice put herself between Edward and the woman I could only assume to be his former wife.

"Maybe now isn't the time, Tanya." Alice said quietly. My stomach dropped as my fear was confirmed.

"Edward, please! I just want to talk," the beautiful, yet malevolent ghost pleaded. My feet were frozen to the ground. Should I go to him? Or was this none of my business? Jasper caught my eye and motioned with a jerk of his head that I should be at Edward's side.

I took a deep breath. Everyone around me was frozen in place just as I was. When I began to slowly move toward Edward, heads began whipping around to see who dared to move through the tense silence. My heart pounded deafeningly in my ears as I willed my leaden legs to carry me forward, through the gawking crowd, past the ghost of my lover's wife and into his waiting arms.

Tanya smiled when Edward stood and pulled me into his arms. "You must be Bella. It's a pleasure."

"Don't you dare speak to her," Edward ground out through his teeth. "You have some nerve showing up here tonight after all you've done."

Tanya looked surprised. "I'm so sorry for what I put you through, Edward. I understand why you're angry, but I just wanted to come here and apologize for what happened. And to tell you how happy I am that you've found her." She looked sadly at me. "We weren't meant for each other. I only wish we had realized it before it was too late."

"Jesus Tanya, how can you stand here and talk to me like this after all the shit you've pulled in the last month?" Edward was furious. The living Cullen relatives looked uncomfortable, but the Cullen spirits were riveted, like they hadn't seen anything so exciting in ages.

_Or maybe she's just that dangerous and they're watching in case they need to intercede..._

I clung to Edward with one arm while turning toward Tanya so I could make eye contact. I didn't want to show her how frightened I really was.

The expression on her face was one of confusion, as she processed what Edward had just said.

"The last month? Edward, I haven't been anywhere near here."

"And you expect us to believe you?" Edward fumed.

"Um, actually Edward, I can vouch for her," Alice spoke up.

"As can I." I hadn't even noticed the tall man standing slightly behind Tanya. He looked like an older version of Carlisle.

Alice smiled as he stepped forward. "Hello, Peter."

"Hello doll, long time no see." Peter smiled warmly at Alice as he wrapped an arm around Tanya's waist.

"Will somebody please tell me what the _hell_ is going on?" My heart couldn't take much more of this. Edward nodded his head in agreement.

"This was my husband, Peter." Alice waved an arm toward him in introduction. My head was starting to hurt. Alice's ghost was cheating on her husband's ghost with her very much alive great-great nephew, while her husband's ghost was cheating on her with the ghost of my boyfriend's wife. I wriggled out of Edward's arms and slumped down on the piano bench. He stood behind me and rubbed my shoulders.

"Oh, stop looking at me like that, Bella. The vows only say 'til death do us part. We hardly knew each other when we were married, and I died shortly after. Jasper's the one I'm going to spend eternity with."

"And Peter's the one for me," Tanya said softly, looking at Edward. "Which is why I'm so happy that you've found Bella while you're still alive. She's _your_ forever, Edward," Tanya said fervently.

"I know," he replied.

I kneeled on the bench so I could hug Edward. He kissed me quickly but passionately.

"Wait, if it hasn't been Tanya doing all those things, then who is it?" I asked.

So quickly that I almost fell on my face, Edward pulled me off the bench and put himself in front of me, shielding me. I peeked around his body and screamed.

All of the living Cullen relatives, except for Edward, were lying unconscious on the floor. At least, I hoped they were only unconscious. The ghosts had vanished, except for Tanya and a tall man with his dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Tanya gasped.

"James!"

"How the hell did you manage to come back?" Edward ground out through gritted teeth.

"Well, isn't that just the million dollar question?" James sneered as he slowly circled around Tanya like he was a bird of prey and she was carrion.

He reached out to pat her belly. "I guess I'm part of the family now!" he laughed maliciously.

Tanya's eyes were wide. "I'm so sorry," she whispered to Edward.

"Shut it, cupcake," James said mockingly. "Imagine my surprise when I woke to find myself stuck with the _Cullens_ for all eternity." He spat out the name like it was rancid chewing tobacco. "I had just learned that my lover was pregnant with _my_ child, but was dumping me to stay with her rich husband, then I died painfully in a car crash. Let me say I was less than thrilled."

He turned his glare toward me.

"And then those other undead mother-fuckers have to go and bring _you_ into the equation." He pointed at me accusingly.

Tanya stepped toward him. "James, she has nothing to do with this. Leave her out of it."

"Oh, that's what everyone thinks, isn't it? Well, she has a big part in this, and she is a danger to me. And to you, my love." Sarcasm dripped from those last two words like blood from raw meat.

"That's ridiculous." Tanya folded her arms in front of her. James turned to glare at her.

"Is it? I've met some interesting people over here. Well, you can't really call them people. Let's call them beings, for lack of a better word. These beings are nasty little creatures, but they know their way around this...afterlife, or whatever you want to call it."

"Been hanging with a rough crowd, haven't you, James?"

"Oh, you have no idea," he laughed darkly. "These Cullens are idiots. They have no idea of the powers they could have. They dabble in the dreams of the living, and make an appearance at Christmas and think themselves clever. But, as you can see," he made a sweeping gesture around the room, "I have learned quite a lot in my short time on the other side."

He turned to face Edward and me again. "Now that he's found _her, _we're done for_."_

"What on earth are you talking about, James," Tanya said impatiently.

"If he marries her, you will no longer exist in this afterlife. If you no longer exist here, then neither will I."

"And you trust these low-lifes you've been hanging around with?" Tanya retorted, disbelief evident in her tone.

Edward finally spoke. "This is preposterous. None of my family's ghosts have ever disappeared. Even the ones who weren't direct descendents. First, you take my wife. Now you want to take away the woman I love more than anything? What did I ever do to you?"

James sauntered toward us. Edward stiffened and pushed me further behind him.

"I don't give a shit about you," James seethed. "I'm just trying to survive here. And you..." Suddenly he was behind me. I whirled around, feeling Edward's arms trying to pull me away, but it was as if I was bolted to the ground. "I overestimated your sense of self-preservation. Or else you're just incredibly stupid. You didn't take my little hints to get lost. I no longer plan on being subtle about it, just so you know." He flicked my nose with his finger. It went numb. "Consider yourselves warned."

He walked away, his image gradually fading. I could move and feel my nose once again. Edward pulled me to his chest and I clung to him and sobbed. He stroked my hair and murmured words of apology. The living Cullens began to stir, and ghosts began to gradually reappear. The noise level began to crescendo as everyone tried to figure out what had just happened. Edward and I stayed in our little bubble.

As the haze of fear began to clear from my mind, I thought about what James had said. I only caused a problem for him if Edward and I got married. I began to calm considerably as I thought about this. Marriage had never been big on my priority list. I really didn't see the point. Besides, Edward and I had just met. I let out a long breath, relieved.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked. I nodded into his chest. "Don't believe a word of it. He's a lying shit."

Alice floated toward us. "Wow, that was strange wasn't it?" Before either of us could comment, she continued. "So, have you done it yet?" she squealed excitedly, looking at Edward. He glared at her and shook his head almost imperceptibly. She rolled her eyes and walked away.

"What was that about?" I asked. Edward took my face in his hands.

"I don't give a damn about what he said. I will not let him ruin my life again. I need you. We were meant to be together, and no one, living or dead, is going to tell me otherwise."

"Edward, what are you saying?" My voice was high pitched and shaky. Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue box. I almost collapsed.

"Bella, will you marry me?"

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I'd really love to hear what you think!


	3. Chapter 3  The Hunters

Thanks to **PTB**, **thalia_csiny**, my beta goddess **HollettLA**, and my pre-reader, **Phoenix fan1**. Check out Phoenix fan1's story, _Who Says You Can't Have It All_.

Also, big bear hugs and sloppy wet kisses to** Sexylexicullen** for her wonderful advice. Check out her fabulous fic, _Quiet Storm_!

**Here's a brief summary of the last two chapters:**

Bella is a writer who lives in Phoenix with her overbearing mother. She decides that she needs to escape her boring and controlled life for awhile, and goes to Forks to spend Christmas with Charlie. She meets Edward in the woods while he is putting out a fire in his family's cabin. They go on a date, where she meets Edward's rather pretentious and socially stunted brother, Jasper. Later that night, Bella discovers pictures of a naked woman in Edward's bedroom. She tries to leave, but ends up fainting when she sees a ghostly apparition. When she comes to, Edward explains that his family is able to come back as ghosts after they die, but that they haven't been seen very often over the last few years. He also tells her that he believes his ex-wife, Tanya, is haunting him, but he doesn't know why. She had been killed in a car accident with her lover, James.

Edward invites Bella to the Cullen's Christmas Eve party, where she meets the family ghosts. Everyone is having a lovely time, when Tanya shows up and tries to apologize to Edward. They realize that it is not Tanya who is harassing Edward and Bella, but James. James arrives on the scene and tells them that if Edward marries Bella, he and Tanya will no longer be able to come back as spirits. He says that he has discovered many secrets of the afterlife that the Cullens have failed to find. He admits that he's been trying to scare Bella away. When he touches her nose, it turns numb. Once he leaves, she can feel it again. Edward doesn't believe James, and much to Bella's surprise, he proposes.

******Disclaimer: **The characters and original text of the Twilight series are owned by Stephenie Meyer. All other characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author of this entry is in no way associated with said owners and no copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

_Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain't goin' away. _  
**~Elvis Presley **

"Bella, will you marry me?"

Everyone in the room had resumed their previous conversations, trying not to look like they were eavesdropping to hear my answer. I felt a warm breeze blow across my face. It was not a pleasant breeze like at the beach – the air was thick with malice and it threatened to choke me. My nose went numb once again. Ghostly fingers slithered down my arm.

_James is watching us, and he can touch me. _A frightened whimper escaped my lips and I sucked in air, trying to calm myself.

I watched Edward's expression slowly morph from hopeful to mortified. He pulled a flask out of his pocket and took a deep gulp. I needed to say something right now.

"Can we speak in private, please?" I whispered, taking his hand in mine, trying to reassure him with my touch.

His face flushed red. He replaced the flask and picked up his glass of champagne. He pursed his lips, nodded tightly, and pulled me into a room I hadn't been in yet. When the door closed behind us, he turned to me, still clutching my hands in his, and walked me backward until I was pressed against the door. The room was dark. Only our hands were touching, but I could feel him surrounding me. Heat radiated off his body and onto mine. His breath tickled the side of my face. I felt my fear subside.

"Bella, you were shaking out there. I know this is a lot to take in." He sighed deeply and chuckled. "You could use this in your new mystery novel." He handed me his glass of champagne. I took a sip and felt the bubbles burn their way down to my stomach.

I shook my head. "Someone always dies in my books."

"Well, maybe not, then. Although, there _are _a lot of dead people out in the living room." He grinned, and I scowled. "Sorry. I'll be serious." He sighed. "I know my proposal is rushing things. I guess I got caught up in the excitement of Christmas, and seeing my family again—I thought that this would be the perfect time...I mean, after what Alice told us about you being meant for me, I figured what does it matter if we do it now or in two years? I'm yours, Bella."

"I'm yours too, Edward. Why do you need me to wear a ring to prove that?" He pulled away from me and ran his hand through his hair. The air around me felt cool without him.

"It's just the way I was raised." I had a feeling that there was something he wasn't saying.

"Are you trying to get rid of James and Tanya?" I had to ask. Why would he be proposing marriage after only knowing me for two weeks? Even if we both knew that we were in this for the long haul, why rush? I didn't understand.

"No. I told you that I don't believe him." His hands began stroking my hair.

"Then, why?" I wanted to give in and just feel his hands on me, but I felt a light tapping in the back of my mind that told me to keep pushing.

"Is it so hard to believe that I love you and want to make you mine in every sense of the word?" He pressed me into the door with his body and ran his nose along my cheek. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, breathing him in.

"That's the only reason?" I was breathing heavily now. "You're sure there's nothing else you need to tell me?

"I'm sure," he whispered. He traced my lips with his finger while his other hand skimmed down my body to my breast. When he cupped me firmly in his hand, I arched my back into him.

"Then why are you trying so hard to distract me?" Little did he know, I could multi-task. I slipped out of his arms and put my hands on my hips. "Spill it, Edward."

His forehead hit the door with a thud, and he sighed loudly. "I thought that maybe you'd like a break from all the crazy for a bit."

"Oh, you thought you'd slip in a marriage proposal to distract me from the next round of family secrets? Really?" I was getting a little fed up with his protective attitude – I'd rather have all the information at once so that my brain could sort it out. My mind was a very busy place, and it did not take kindly to having to restart a puzzle because some missing pieces had been found.

Edward turned toward me and his hand reached out for me. I took a step back. It was too dark for me to see his face.

"Please, Bella? Let me hold you, and I promise to tell you everything." His tone was pleading – how could I resist him? I walked forward into his waiting arms and sighed as he enveloped me in his warm embrace.

"No more secrets, Edward."

"No more." He kissed the top of my head. "The reason I want to marry you is because I'm a selfish bastard." I looked up at his face, but even this close, it was still too dark to see his expression. I wished he would turn on a light.

"Don't be melodramatic. Cut to the chase," I chided with a gentle smile.

He groaned and buried his face in my neck. "If you marry me, we'll be together for eternity. When we die, we'll both go to the place reserved for my family in the afterlife."

"Yes, this I've gathered." Although honestly, I hadn't given it much thought.

"You'll be able to go back and forth between this world and the afterlife, so you'll be able to see your living relatives. But when they die, they will go to a different place than you. You won't ever see them again."

"Oh." I had never really considered what would happen when we die. I remembered Renee talking to me about heaven when my Grandma died. I had a picture in my mind of someplace on a cloud where I would see Gran again, and Charlie and Renee would be there, and everyone would be happy and whole...

My views on death hadn't changed since I was eleven years old.

I didn't want to think about this right now. My brain had too much it needed to sort through, and now was not the time to do it. Edward's face was still buried in my neck, and his hands were holding me tightly to him. I wanted to focus on this...on us, together. The feel of him pressed against me, his scotch-scented breath hot on my neck. The tapping in my brain had ceased, and I was hopeful that there would be no more revelations tonight. Or for many, many nights. I was ready for him to distract me now.

I ran my fingers into his hair and tugged, trying to bring his face to mine. Instead, he began placing wet kisses up and down my neck. I tipped my head back to give him better access. My hands began wandering up and down his solid back. When I reached lower and squeezed his buttocks, he moaned and thrust his hips into me.

The door opened, and a stream of bright light from the hallway hit our eyes. We both winced. Jasper flipped on the light switch.

"Edward, some of the Quileute hunters are here – one of them is injured. They are asking for you."

Edward bolted out of the room with Jasper behind him, and I was alone. Quileutes were here. Was Jacob among them? After all that had happened tonight, I did not want to have to deal with him, too. I took a deep breath and looked around the room for the first time. It was set up like an office, but it was different than the study I'd seen upstairs. The room was smaller, and there was an older computer on the desk with pedals on the floor and what looked like a yoke from an airplane. It looked like Edward, or maybe Jasper, played some sort of flight simulation game.

A large grey stone caught my attention from the corner of the room. There were unlit candles surrounding it, and a photo propped against it.

_Why on earth would they have a tombstone in the house?_

My musings were cut short when I heard people yelling. I grabbed Edward's champagne and hurried toward the sound. I stopped in the front entrance, and my hand flew to my mouth to cover the startled cry that came out. Edward was kneeling on the ground with his hands pressing on a man's stomach. Blood covered his hands and forearms. No one was yelling anymore; the only sound was the labored breathing of the man writhing on the floor in front of Edward. I couldn't see his face. My stomach clenched.

_Oh, God – please don't let it be..._

I moved sideways so I could see who was injured. I immediately recognized his face, despite his wide, panic-stricken eyes and painful grimace. It was Jacob's friend, Jared. I looked to see who else was here. Leah, Sam, Seth, Embry and Paul – no Jacob. Paul looked furious. Leah had her hand on his chest and was staring in his eyes, trying to calm him down.

"He's not doing anything!" Paul yelled. "Is he just going to let him die?" Leah pushed him into the wall, even though he was twice her size.

"He's been drinking, Paul – would you want him operating on you?" she demanded. I hadn't seen Leah in a few years. The way she handled Paul, and the way he responded to her, was fascinating – he was submitting to her, even in his anger. This was so unlike the quiet, sullen girl who had sometimes accompanied her mother to visit Charlie.

Jared's eyes closed and his head slumped to the side. Blood poured from the wound in his sternum.

Edward growled loudly. "Jasper!" he yelled. "Get my bag NOW!" I took an involuntary step back. Jasper held his hands up and left.

A woman I recognized from the party leaned down beside Edward. "The ambulance will be here soon. There's not much more you can do," she said softly. Edward's shoulders slumped. I wanted to go to him, but I stayed put, not wanting to get in the way.

"Angela, check his vitals again," Edward said in a low, gravelly voice. The woman beside him put her fingers on Jared's carotid artery and her hand on his chest.

"Pulse weak, respiration shallow." At least he was still alive.

Jasper walked in with a large black bag and set it down beside Edward. Angela opened the bag and reached inside, but Edward pushed her hand away with one of his. He frantically ransacked the bag, pulling out some gauze. Gloves, a few vials of medicine, packaged syringes and needles now littered the floor.

Carlisle walked into the room and the Quileutes backed away, varying degrees of revulsion on their faces. I realized then that the ghosts had been keeping their distance.

"I know my presence makes you uncomfortable, but maybe I can help." Carlisle stayed at the opposite end of the room, gauging the reaction of the Quileutes.

Embry could no longer keep quiet. "Oh, gee. Let's see. Leah, who do we want to operate on our friend – the drunk guy, or the dead guy? Hmm. Tough choice." Leah silenced him with a look.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as lights and sirens announced the arrival of the ambulance. The paramedics loaded Jared into the ambulance with Edward's hands still covering the wound. Leah jumped in the back with them. The other Quileutes began walking down the driveway.

"Wait!" Angela called. "I'll give you a ride to the hospital." She pointed to her car and they made their way toward it. She held back for a moment, and Sam walked over to her. He brushed her cheek with his fingers and she leaned her head into his hand. The others stood by her car pretending to be interested in the stones on the driveway, while Paul glared openly at the couple.

When they were gone, I walked back into the living room, clutching the glass of champagne like a crucifix to ward off any further evil. I plopped onto the couch and stared straight ahead.

"Honey, are you alright?" Esme. My hand tingled when she held it. It shook as I brought the glass of champagne up to my lips, and I could almost taste the sweet liquid and feel the numbing burn in my throat when the glass slipped out of my hand and shattered on the floor.

I snapped out of my daze. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." I bent down as if I was about to clean it up, but I had nothing to soak up the spilled liquid.

"No use crying over spilled champagne." Carlisle was beside me with a cloth. I watched, fascinated, as his hands moved over the broken glass without getting cut. Esme pulled me back onto the couch beside her.

"It's been quite a night, hasn't it?" She gently patted my knee. "You're one brave girl to still be here after meeting your boyfriend's dead parents." She didn't say fiancé. Had she seen him propose? I wonder how she'd feel if she knew I turned him down. Did I turn him down? _Should I?_

Carlisle sat down on my other side. "Don't let all this talk about being meant for each other scare you off. And don't worry about Edward's hasty proposal. I think he feels as though he needs to grab you and tie you down quickly before you can get away." I scoffed. "Don't let him push you into anything you're not ready for." I looked at him and he smiled.

The party had become subdued. People and ghosts were congregated in small groups, talking quietly. A choir sang _Jesus Christ the Apple Tree _on the stereo. Alice and Jasper were leaning against a wall, engaged in a silent conversation. They were gazing at each other so intimately I had to look away. I sighed and leaned back on the couch.

Edward's family thought that we were meant to be together. How did they know this? When I met Edward that day in the woods, did they see us and decide that we'd be good together, and then start giving us dreams to make our feelings stronger? Or was it something more, and they were just helping us along?

I was willing to take a chance on whatever this was. I was tired of placating my mother. It was time to shake things up a bit.

"It's time I got to know Charlie a little better," I said to no one in particular. Esme squeezed my hand and Carlisle patted my shoulder.

I was uneasy and restless for the rest of the night. Edward's family tried to distract me with anecdotes from their colorful pasts, but I kept looking at the door, waiting for him to come home. His family was very welcoming, but I felt out of place without him by my side.

Finally, at quarter past two in the morning, the front door opened and Edward walked in. He was dressed in clean scrubs. His hair and coat were soaked from the sudden heavy rain.

_Well, I had a white Christmas for a whole two hours. _

I shook the trivial thought away as I wondered what kind of Christmas the residents of La Push were going to have. Would they be visiting the hospital or planning a funeral? I went to Edward's side and waited while he hung up his coat. He hadn't looked at me since he arrived home, and when his coat was securely on the hanger he sighed, looking into the closet like he was waiting for Narnia to appear.

"Edward?" My voice sounded weak. He didn't move. I took a step toward him and he sucked in a deep breath before his arm snapped out and pulled me to him. He buried his head in my hair and let out a single choked sob. He was squeezing me so tight that I could hardly breathe.

"Oh God, Edward! Is he...did he..." I couldn't bring myself to say the word.

"There was too much internal damage. Dr. Gerandy operated for three hours, but he had lost too much blood."

Edward hadn't been able to do anything, but he had stayed there the whole time. He must have felt so helpless. I held him and stroked his hair while his breathing calmed. When he eventually released me and turned to face the rest of his family, Jasper held out his flask. Edward pushed it away, a look of disgust on his face.

"It's not your fault," I said. He scoffed and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me tightly into his side.

"Tell that to Jared's friends. I know they're grieving and they need someone to blame, but I'm not the one who put the knife in him."

I gasped. "Someone knifed him?"

He shook his head. "No, that's doubtful. It looked like he was sharpening his knife and slipped. Seems pretty careless for a seasoned hunter like he was, but no one saw it happen."

Carlisle stepped forward and put a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Son, are you alright?"

Edward shrugged Carlisle's hand off and pulled me toward the kitchen. "I'm fine."

When we got to the kitchen, he gulped down two large glasses of water. Carlisle followed us in.

"I know what you're feeling, Edward." Carlisle said. Edward put his hands on the counter and hung his head.

"Do you?" His voice was soft and menacing. I wondered what Carlisle had done to deserve this treatment from his son. "You lived in Forks your whole life. What horrible emergencies did you have to tend to? Old people having heart attacks or breaking their hips when they slipped in the rain? You comforted their grown children as they mourned, but it was bittersweet because they'd lived a long and full life, and died happily watching their favorite soap opera." He turned toward Carlisle, anger burning in his face. "I'm ineffective here, Carlisle. I studied to be a plastic surgeon, not a GP. This small town—I have to see my patients everywhere I go. And when a young man slowly bleeds to death in my arms, I have to see his friends and family everyday at the gas station, or the grocery store...see the blame in their eyes, and constantly wonder what I could have done differently. I can't do it!"

Carlisle looked at me out the corner of his eye before he walked closer to Edward. I suddenly felt like an intruder. I walked out of the kitchen to find Alice waiting for me. She handed me another glass of champagne.

She was leaning casually against the wall, looking serenely around the room. "Did you notice that Esme never told any stories about Edward's childhood?" When I shook my head, she continued. "Edward was born an old soul. He was a solitary child. If I didn't see great-great-great grandpa Cullen standing across the room right now, I'd swear he was reincarnated as Edward." I followed Alice's gaze to where an old man...ghost, I guess...was scowling in a corner. He looked at Alice scornfully. I chuckled.

"What I'm getting at, Bella, is that Edward has never felt like he fit in. Neither of the boys did, for that matter, but Edward at least tries. He goes through the motions. He became a doctor because he thought it would give him something in common with Carlisle. He married Tanya because he thought that might give him the kind of connection he was missing. Esme and Carlisle did their best, and they're the most loving parents anyone could ask for, but Edward grew up feeling alone. Strange as it seems, I think he came to resent Carlisle for the way his life turned out. He became a doctor like he was supposed to, but still didn't fit in anywhere."

I let out a low hum while I thought this over. Perhaps the rude Edward I had met that day in the forest was the real Edward, and the rest of his behavior was an act to get along socially. But how could I deny how easy it was to be with him, and the intensity with which he regarded me? Perhaps he had finally found someone that he connected with? He had no reason to go through the motions with me —he could have just sent me on my way that day and never seen me again.

As if she could sense my thoughts, she continued. "Don't second guess your connection with him." She turned to me and stared into my eyes. "You've had to deal with a lot of information today that sounds unbelievable. But we're here, and you can see us with your own eyes. Please, just open your mind to letting Edward in." I closed my eyes tightly. It just seemed too good to be true, that this beautiful man was for me. My body began to tingle with static electricity. I opened my eyes to find Alice inches away from me. "I've known you were for Edward since you were a child."

My eyes went wide at this revelation. "How...wha...?" The fact that she had seen me as a child sent my mind reeling. Had the Cullens been keeping tabs on me for my entire life? How much did they know about me?

"Calm down, Bella, we weren't stalking you or anything. I saw you quite by chance." I slumped against the wall and waited for her to continue. "Jasper was sick a lot as a child. When he would go to the hospital, I kept him company. One summer when I was there, Edward came to see Jasper. You were in the ER getting a cast on your arm." She looked at me to see if I remembered.

"That could have been a couple of different summers. I was pretty reckless when I visited here." I smiled with chagrin at the memories.

Alice giggled. "Well, this particular instance will forever be imprinted on my mind. Edward's light was doing strange things." She stopped at my confused expression. "We don't see the living as you do. We don't look at corporeal forms so much as the soul. It's like a light around the person. Some people might call it an 'aura'." She paused to give me a moment to digest, but it was going to take a lot longer for what she was saying to fully sink in. I nodded for her to continue. "Anyway, Edward's light was stretching out and dancing all over. I couldn't figure it out. Until I saw you." She looked at me pointedly. "Yours was acting in a similar manner, and when the two of you got close enough, your lights came together. I'd never seen Edward so calm before, and he had no idea why he suddenly felt so...at peace."

"So, we're...soul mates?" I wanted to scoff at the ridiculousness of such a statement, but the serious look on Alice's face kept me from showing how I actually felt.

"Yes."

"Okay..." Panic set in. "So, I have no choice in the matter?"

"Of course you do. But why would you choose differently?"

My chest felt tight. I didn't want this kind of pressure. The pressure of having someone tied to me in this way. I had been pressured all my life—dragged from one lesson to the next, made to work constantly to live up to my domineering mother's expectations. She loved me—of course she did—but she could not cede her control over my life even when I became an adult. She wanted to protect me, to make sure I had all the opportunities that she hadn't.

When I finally had the chance to leave, my will crumbled under her oppression and my life stagnated like an overgrown swamp, while my peers set out to explore and make their own lives. And now, I had a soul mate who would have expectations of me, and God only knew what would happen if I screwed things up—will our souls be able to recover if they're separated after being together? I thought back to the physical pain I had felt when I tried to leave Edward after I found the pictures of Tanya in his room. Perhaps leaving was never going to be an option. I needed to shift my thinking on the matter.

I was being presented with an opportunity. A chance to leave my old life and start anew. But would I be leaving the watchful eyes of my mother only to have them replaced by much sexier, but even more vigilant, eyes? Edward hadn't shown signs of controlling behaviour, but his growing intensity frightened me. I needed to set some parameters if I were to move here. From now on, I needed to live my life on my own terms.

Edward walked out of the kitchen. His eyes were red, but he smiled when he saw me.

"Good chat with Carlisle?" I asked.

"Surprisingly, yes." He hugged me tightly. "I am exhausted."

"I bet you are. You've had quite a night." I rubbed his back soothingly.

"How's your night been? I'm so very sorry that I wasn't here for most of it. I feel awful—'Hey, Bella, talk to my dead parents while I leave for four hours.'" He shook his head, and then nuzzled my cheek with his nose. "I guess this night could go in your novel after all."

"Don't say things like that." I reached up to kiss him tenderly on the lips. He had other plans and pulled me firmly into his body, deepening the kiss.

"Ahem." We pried our faces apart to see Esme grinning at us. "Edward, dear, we're going to be turning into pumpkins soon, and you haven't said hello to Aunt Zafrina and Uncle Alistair yet." Edward chuckled, caressed my cheek tenderly, and took my hand. He led me toward an extraordinarily tall black woman and a short, confounded-looking man wearing too-large black-rimmed glasses.

"My Uncle Alistair always prided himself on his forward thinking," Edward whispered. "When the thirteenth amendment was proclaimed, he decided to push things further and marry one of his slaves. He hadn't wanted to have slaves in the first place—they had been forced upon him by his family. The two of them were lynched to death just days after the wedding." I gasped.

When we reached his aunt and uncle, Zafrina embraced Edward and me warmly while Alistair muttered a terse greeting and ran his fingers through his tousled hair. His eyes darted about suspiciously.

"Don't worry about him, honey. He's never quite gotten over being murdered by his neighbors," she said. I gaped at the casualness with which she discussed their death.

"Lousy, no good bastards. I helped them build their houses, and they hung me from the rafters of mine," Alistair mumbled.

"Come, children. Sit with me on the couch. I so rarely get to see you." Zafrina gracefully folded her long body onto the couch, pulling me and Edward with her. Edward leaned forward, looking at the floor.

"What the hell happened to my floor?" he asked.

I blushed when I realized he was pointing at the spot where I had spilled my champagne. "Oh, sorry. I was distracted after what happened, and I accidentally dropped my drink. I thought Carlisle got most of it."

"What the hell were you drinking? Turpentine?"

I looked down at the hardwood floor where my drink had landed. The finish was gone, leaving an ugly, dark stain on the floor. Champagne alone would not leave that kind of a mark, especially since Carlisle had cleaned it up right away. My stomach dropped as I realized it must have had something in it to cause the troubling mark on the floor. If it had caused such destruction to the floor, what would it have done to my body if I had drunk the glass? I was suddenly very thankful for my clumsiness.

"It was the glass of champagne you gave me." We looked at each other for a long moment before he called for Carlisle.

"Where is the cloth you used to wipe up Bella's drink?" He tried to sound calm, but there was an edge of panic creeping into his voice.

Carlisle looked down at the ugly stain. "In the trash. I'll get it out."

Edward wrapped his arms around me protectively. "Well my love, it seems that this night has just become the perfect subject matter for your novel, after all."

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	4. Chapter 4  Christmas Morning

Thanks so much to Thalia_csiny and the amazing HollettLA for pointing out that six year old boys and alligators don't belong here. Don't ask.

******Disclaimer: **The characters and original text of the Twilight series are owned by Stephenie Meyer. All other characters, settings, lyrics, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author of this entry is in no way associated with said owners and no copyright infringement is intended.

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Chapter 4

_I'm trying to keep a level head. You have to be careful out in the world. It's so easy to get turned._

_**~Elvis Presley**_

I was at a river. It was eerily quiet; even the fast flowing water was silent. I felt a desperate sense of urgency—I was looking for someone. I ran into the trees.

I was at the cabin where I first met Edward. There was smoke coming out the window, just like that day, and I ran inside. He was not there. The fire consumed the documents on the table and began to spread. Smoke burned my nostrils as I ran back outside. I felt helpless as I watched the cabin burn.

_Where is Edward?_

I ran and ran, but got nowhere. I collapsed onto the wet ground in frustration. When I looked up, I was on the front steps of Edward's house. It was still so quiet. I struggled with the front door. It was not locked, only jammed. When it finally opened I ran inside, calling Edward's name.

The house appeared empty. I made my way upstairs to his bedroom, but my legs were so heavy. I could no longer move. Suddenly, I felt a presence. I looked up to find Edward staring down at me impassively. I tried to call his name, but my voice would not work. He turned and walked away from me. I tried crying out for him to stop, but all that came out was a breathy whisper. I watched, my heart breaking, as he walked away from me.

I jolted awake. Warm arms enveloped me and I buried my face into Edward's chest, clinging to him desperately.

"Shh, it's okay. It was only a dream. I've got you." Edward crooned as he rocked me back and forth. He peppered my hair and face with kisses, and the horrible feeling of abandonment started to fade.

As he held me tightly to him, I let my hands wander over his body, checking to make sure he really was here with me. I sucked on the spot where his shoulder and neck met as I ran my fingers through his hair and tugged on his...

Fuzzy Santa hat?

I looked up into Edward's face. He was looking at me cautiously. When I smiled at him, he exhaled and relaxed.

"Merry Christmas, love," he said softly as he caressed my cheek.

"Merry Christmas, indeed." My hands and lips continued with their perusal of his body.

Edward rolled me over onto my back as his hands mimicked mine. "Mmm, I can't think of a better way to spend Christmas morning."

"Best...Christmas...ever..." I said between nibbles of his stubbled chin. He answered by pushing his rock-hard erection into my hips. I smiled. "That's better than the Toblerone bar I usually get in my stocking." Edward giggled. Yes, giggled.

_Somebody's been into the Christmas cheer..._

He had his head on my shoulder, and I could feel his body shaking with his laughter. _It really wasn't that funny. _Rolling my eyes, I pushed him off of me and reached for my overnight bag. He whimpered a little, mid-giggle.

Even if it was probably brought on by alcohol, it was nice to see Edward relaxed and happy. He seemed genuinely excited about it being Christmas. I had long ago begun to view the over-commercialized holiday as just another day of the year.

"Did Santa bring you an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Air Rifle?" I asked as I pulled a shirt over my head. We were expected at Charlie's today, and as much as I'd love to spend the day in bed with Edward, I needed to look presentable.

"I could say that he brought you one, but I like the Toblerone bar analogy better." He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back onto the bed. "Waking up next to the most beautiful girl in the world is the reason for my good mood. Also, Jasper's been mixing mimosas for about an hour now. Some of my relatives slept over last night. I thought I'd let you sleep in as your Christmas present. Hope you like it!"

I grinned and kissed him. "Thank you. I always enjoy the gift of sleep."

He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead. "You'll get the rest of your present once you get dressed and eat some breakfast."

"Can I give you your present now?" I blushed, thinking about what I'd gotten him. It was a stretch for me, but I was fighting to break out of my shell, and this would help me in my quest to be a more fun and playful Bella.

"Mmm, this is all I need," he said as he pulled me to him. "But I am curious about what's made your face suddenly turn red."

I looked away from him and tried to be brave. "Well, what if I got you this," I gestured to my body, trying to hide my deepening blush, "plus some...accoutrements?"

He grinned wickedly. "Accoutrements?"

I got up off the bed, reached into my bag and pulled out his gift. He tore into the wrapping, opened the box and held up the sexy nurse outfit I had bought.

He said nothing. His eyes darkened, his stare became more intense, and his lips parted as he looked at the outfit, then at me.

"Put it on," he whispered. My body burned from his lustful gaze, and my feet automatically brought me to him. He was sitting on the bed while I stood at the edge. He put his hands on my hips and began nuzzling my belly with his nose. My legs quivered. This wasn't my plan; the anticipation was supposed to be half the fun, according to my research.

Taking a step back, I placed one hand on my hip and wagged a finger at him. "Now, Dr. Cullen, this is neither the time nor the place to play this game." My voice was low and breathy. I tried to compose myself. "You have guests to attend to, and I need a mimosa." I smiled and tried to take another step back. Instead, I found myself squealing as I was pulled onto the bed and pinned under Edward's solid form.

"Not so fast, Nurse Swan. We have an administrative problem that needs to be taken care of before I can see anybody else." He leered at me.

I frowned. "Administrative problem?"

"Mm-hmm. I need to administer some lovin' right away." He dug his fingers into my hair and held my head still while he planted kisses all over my face. Now it was my turn to giggle.

"Really? Did you _really _just say that?"

"Stop laughing. I'm trying to get busy here."

"I suppose you're going to tell me you've got just the tool for the job?"

"Are you saying that my tool isn't right for this job?"

"Oh, no, your tool is just perfect." I turned my head and squeaked when he tried to kiss my lips. "I haven't brushed my teeth! And I have icky champagne hangover breath!" I hadn't had that much to drink, but with champagne, it only took a little bit. I was feeling slightly...blech, to use a technical term.

He groaned and let me go reluctantly. I scurried off to the bathroom to get cleaned up. While I was brushing my teeth, he entered, wearing a robe.

The giggly boy was gone. "You know, we haven't talked about it." He leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

I looked at him, trying not to drool toothpaste. "Hmm?"

"What happens after the holidays." He looked down at his feet. It still surprised me just how insecure he could be—he had such a strong, composed exterior, but inside, there were still traces of an abandoned young man.

"Even though you never said it, I got the distinct impression that you don't want to marry me." His voice was soft, his eyes still trained on the floor.

I rinsed my mouth out and turned to him, placing my hands on his chest. I rubbed my hands up and down and waited for him to look at me. He didn't.

"Maybe not right now, but we can talk about it again in the future." I tried to get him to look at me, but he refused. "I love you." Still nothing. I tried to look at his face. His bottom lip was sticking out a little more than usual.

_Oh my God! Is he...pouting?_

He looked so adorable, but I suppressed my laughter. Laughing at him right now would not be a good thing.

"I had some time to think about things after you left last night," I said, and he cringed at the memory. "The reason I came to spend Christmas with Charlie is because my mother drives me insane. I wanted some time away from my life—to escape." He finally looked at me. "My mother has spent her entire life trying to control mine." I sighed and looked away. "I'm not sure who I really am. I write books about other people, and I try to be the person my mother thinks I should be." I straightened up and looked into his eyes, willing myself to be brave. "I need to spend some time just being me. Or at least figuring out who that is. So, I'm moving to Forks." I exhaled loudly and waited for his reply.

The boyish smile was back on Edward's face, and he crushed me to him. "Oh, thank God. I really didn't want to move to Phoenix."

I looked up at him, shocked. "You would have moved to Phoenix to be with me?" He nodded.

"But what about your family? Your patients? You're Dr. Cullen, and Forks has _always_ had a Dr. Cullen from what I've heard."

He sighed and rubbed his face. "I know. And I feel awful for thinking this way, but I'm just so sick of doing what's expected of me. I guess I know how you feel with your mother to an extent, because even though no one has pressured me to make the choices I have, I still felt pressure. Maybe it was from myself, but still, I'm tired of it."

"Is this because of Jared?" I whispered. Pain crossed his face, but he shook his head.

"No. Well, maybe partially. Jared's death is the final nail. I don't belong here. I don't want to be a small town doctor—jack of all trades, master of none." We snuggled quietly for a few moments, contemplating the direction our lives were about to take.

"So, you're a plastic surgeon?" I asked. When I'd heard him mention his specialty last night, I hadn't registered what it meant. I had been trying to process too many other things. But now it was beginning to hit home that I was dating a drop-dead gorgeous man who used to make a living out of making people look perfect.

He might as well have super-human eyesight and be able to see every flaw on my body.

He rested his chin on my head and sighed. "I was like a sculptor. I molded people into who they wanted to be. Helped them start over, or just feel better about themselves." I pulled away and looked at him, my insecurities flaring anew. He continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil. "It was nice not to have to deal with death. Just people trying to enjoy their time here." He rested his forehead on mine. "It just seemed unnatural, the way I grew up. My parents talked about the dead like they were still present. I guess they were, but it was weird. None of the kids I went to school with could talk to their dead relatives – they thought I was making things up. My first grade teacher thought I was traumatized somehow, because I was claiming to see my dead ancestors. She wanted me to see a counselor, but my parents told her I already was so she'd leave it alone."

"Wow," I whispered. I hadn't even thought about how this would have been for him as a child. No wonder he'd been so serious all the time.

"Once I realized that no one else could see ghosts, I pretended I couldn't either. I didn't want to be different. But it didn't matter – I was. I didn't fit in anywhere. I was so angry growing up – I just wanted someone who understood me. So I shut my family out, alive and dead. And I know this sounds awful, but when I die, I don't want to go to where my family goes."

I gasped, and he rushed to continue. "It's not that I don't want to be with them—God, I'm not that horrible a son—I just don't want to be in their 'veil', or whatever they call it."

He pulled me back to him. "I'm worried that it'll be boring," he whispered.

I frowned. "What will be boring?"

"You know, where my family is. It can't be all that exciting. They can only go to places they've visited in life, and even then it takes lots of energy to go, or to do anything when they get there. They just mostly hang out within the veil."

I felt a pang of disappointment at learning what lay in store. I had clung to my childhood vision of clouds and heaven for so long that it had become a part of me. Probably the only part of the child in me that had carried on into adulthood, and now it was gone.

The mood had become much too somber for Christmas morning. I took his face in my hands and rubbed my nose against his. "Well, if we're together, it won't be boring. Maybe they'll let us bring this!" I reached over and grabbed the naughty nurse outfit, waving it around. I had no idea who "they" were, but I wanted to lighten the mood. It was Christmas, after all.

He laughed. "Yes! That's why you've got to marry me!"

I didn't know if he meant so that I could be with him when we died, or because I was willing to engage in sexual role playing, but I didn't want to go there right now. I smiled and stroked his hair. I swear he almost purred.

There was a knock at the door. Edward opened it—Jasper stood on the other side with his hand covering his eyes.

Edward chuckled. "It's okay. We're dressed."

Jasper uncovered his eyes, then immediately covered them again. "Bella's not wearing pants."

Edward looked at the long t-shirt I was wearing and rolled his eyes. "So you can see her legs. When did you become such a prude?"

"Since her father, who also happens to be the Chief of Police, entered our home about five minutes ago." Jasper turned and walked away, hands still covering his eyes.

I wondered what Charlie was doing here on Christmas morning. I quickly put on some pants. Edward took my hand as we walked down the stairs to where my father sat in his uniform, laughing and drinking a mimosa. I felt awkward at his finding me here, but at least he seemed to be having a good time.

"Bella! Jesus, are you alright?" He stood up and in two long strides, was in front of me, patting my arms and legs, checking me for injuries like he had when I was a child.

I stepped away from him, my face flaming with embarrassment. "What are you doing?"

Charlie stepped back, like he couldn't believe what he had just done either. "I stopped by the hospital this morning to say Merry Christmas to everyone there, and Irina was just starting her shift. She told me that someone tried to poison your drink last night." He glared at Edward. "Just what kind of party were you having here, Cullen?"

I put my hand on Charlie's chest. "Dad, it's not his fault. We don't know what happened."

Edward stepped forward. "I saved the rag that was used to clean it up. We were going to bring it to you today."

Charlie seemed to calm a little. "I'll send it to the lab in Seattle." He looked around the room. "I'll need a list of everyone who was here last night," he stated. I had never seen Charlie in full-on "Chief" mode before. Whenever I had visited him at the station, he was usually goofing around with his deputy or watching baseball on the flat screen he'd installed in the breakroom.

"Certainly, I'll do that right away," Edward said as he reached into a drawer, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.

"Thank you. Bella, tell me everything you can remember about last night." He looked at me expectantly. I felt the blood leave my face. How would I explain what had happened last night without Charlie thinking that I _had _been poisoned and brain damaged as a result?

Edward pulled out a chair and rubbed my back and, as I sat down, Jasper handed me a mimosa. I was hoping that Charlie would chalk my reaction up to my being upset about almost being poisoned last night.

I took a deep breath. My mind was working overtime, trying to filter my story so I didn't accidentally mention someone who was dead. "Let's see...I got ready for the party in Edward's room. When I came downstairs, there were already a lot of people here. I think they were all relatives of Edward and Jasper." Charlie looked at Edward for confirmation. He nodded, and I continued slowly, weighing each word. "I talked to quite a few people."

Charlie interrupted me. "Who gave you the drink?"

"Edward did." Charlie's eyebrows shot up and he glared at Edward again. "No, dad – it was _his_ drink." I frowned. Was someone trying to poison Edward? Bile rose in my throat at the thought of someone wanting to harm him. I felt my muscles tense in anticipation of the violence I would let loose on whoever it was. It had been a few months since I'd had a workout, but karate was the one thing Renee had forced me to do that I had actually enjoyed. And excelled at. My body could be registered as a lethal weapon—I would end whoever had tried to hurt Edward.

"Bella?" I hadn't realized that Charlie had been talking to me. "Edward says he didn't drink any of it. Did you?" I thought back to the dark room with the strange tombstone, where he had given me the glass. My face flushed from the memory of his hot breath on my cheek. I recalled drinking from the glass.

"Yes, I did." I looked at Edward. "After Jasper came to get you."

"Hmm. Someone must have tampered with it later. Did you set the glass down anywhere?" Charlie asked.

I thought some more. "After Edward gave me the drink, I don't think I set it down until I dropped it." I looked up at Charlie. "You heard about what happened last night, right?" I whispered.

Charlie nodded. "Poor kid. I just can't believe that something like that would happen to one of those Quileute hunters. They're extremely skilled." Everyone was silent for a moment. "Bella, are you sure that you didn't put the drink down at all? There's no way that the substance was in the champagne when you drank from it. From the looks of that mark on the floor, whatever was in your drink was extremely caustic."

"Sorry, Dad, but I really don't remember. Things got a little crazy last night, you know." I sniffed suspiciously at my mimosa before taking a sip. Edward raised his eyebrows, and I sent him a challenging look. Even if the drink last night _had_ been intended for Edward, I wasn't taking any chances.

"Edward, can you think of anyone who would want to harm you?" Charlie asked. Edward and Jasper exchanged looks before Edward shook his head. That was when it hit me. It had been there all along, hidden in the back of my mind, but I had refused to see it. Every person at the party last night was Edward's family.

Everyone but James.

Would he have been able to poison the drink after he had left? Had he actually left? I realized that I had very little idea of what the ghosts were capable of and, according to James, they were capable of a lot more than most of the Cullens realized.

I was going to have to do some research. At that thought, my body relaxed and I felt my anxiety ease. Research was something I was comfortable with. It gave me a sense that I had some control over the situation.

Charlie set his glass down and started to make his way to the door. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to harm you, Bella, especially since you don't know many people here." He turned to me. "But I think you should be careful." He ran his hands through his hair. "In fact, you should stay with me until you go home. I'd hate to see you leave early because of this mess—I can keep you safe."

I wasn't going to leave Edward alone when someone was trying to kill him. "I can keep myself safe, Dad. Besides, I've decided that I'm not going back to Phoenix."

Charlie's eyes grew wide. He looked back and forth between Edward and me. "Are you moving in with Edward?"

I looked at Edward apologetically. "Not right now. I'm going to get my own place," I replied. Edward looked crestfallen.

Charlie frowned. "Well, you can stay with me until you find a place. But I don't think you should be living on your own until we find out what's going on."

I huffed, and was about to argue, when Edward took my hand. "Bella, he's right. You would be safer at your dad's house." I looked at him incredulously. My face turned red again, this time from anger.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, why don't we talk about it when you come over later? Edward, I assume you'll be joining us?" I turned and glared at Edward.

"Um, yes, of course." He squirmed uncomfortably. I had the sudden urge to leave the two of them on their own for Christmas and go off by myself, where there was no one trying to tell me what to do. I realized that I was being childish, and that they were only concerned for my safety. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

"Okay then, I'll see you two later." Charlie walked out the door.

Edward turned to me. "It's a good idea, Bella. James has never been to your house before. He can't harm you there."

I shook my head and sighed. "You have to stay with me, then. It was _your_ drink that was poisoned."

"But it wasn't poisoned until after I gave it to you." He had a point, but I wasn't taking any chances. Besides, I didn't want to go back to sleeping alone.

"I want to stay with you." I looked up at him through my eyelashes and stuck my bottom lip out a tiny bit.

He laughed. "Are you...pouting?"

"You should know—I learned from the master."

He raised his eyebrows, but let it slide. "Your bed at Charlie's is tiny—it would be uncomfortable." I crossed my arms defiantly, and he sighed. "Let's at least eat breakfast while we talk about it."

I picked up my mimosa and went to the table. Jasper handed me a plate of huevos rancheros. There was a sausage on top, arranged in the shape of a candy cane. I grinned at him and he winked.

_My, he's in a good mood today…_

I thought of Jasper and Alice and wondered what it was like to be intimate with a ghost. From the jolt of electricity I had felt just shaking hands with a few of them last night, physical intimacy had the possibility of being overwhelming. Or mind-blowing.

Apparently, I had been staring at Jasper while musing about his supernatural sex life, because he was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing." I speared my sausage candy cane with my fork. I felt my face heat up.

Jasper looked at me for a few moments, and turned to Edward. "He's probably never been in the cabin."

Edward frowned, as he remembered the fire that had drawn me to the cabin. "I thought James had never been here, but obviously I was wrong." I rubbed Edward's thigh. He squeezed my hand.

"Why don't you just try staying there and see if anything happens?"

Edward's eyes flashed with anger. "I don't know what that bastard is capable of. Do you think I'm going to take a chance with Bella's safety and have her anywhere near him?" He rose from the table. "Bella, finish quickly. I'm getting you out of here. I'll stay with you at your father's. I have a good chiropractor." He stormed upstairs.

I gave Jasper a questioning look. He looked smug. "Edward's a smart guy, but sometimes he's a little slow to act." I stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate. "If I hadn't flirted with you at the bar that night, you would probably still be waiting to consummate your relationship. Sometimes he needs a little push in the right direction."

"So, you don't think I'm safe here?"

His face became serious. "I know you're not." Shivers travelled down my spine, and I quickly finished eating and put my plate in the dishwasher. I hurried upstairs. Edward already had all my things packed.

He looked at me and ran his hands through his hair. "It's probably a good idea that you get your own place for now, as much as I want you living here with me."

"I had hoped to discuss that with you first. I figured you'd be upset. But I'm twenty-eight years old, and I've never had my own place."

He looked uncomfortable. "Don't get mad at me for asking this, but...are you a good writer?" I raised my eyebrows. "I mean, do you have enough money to get your own place?"

I chuckled. "I'm currently writing the third book in a series. The first two were quite successful. I'll be okay."

"I'd like to read them sometime."

I felt myself blush again. Damn, that was annoying. "I don't know. I write under a pseudonym. I'm uncomfortable with people I know reading my work."

He stared at me silently for a moment. The intensity of his gaze made me fidget, until I felt the familiar pull in my chest, tugging me toward him. For some inexplicable reason, my desire was tinged with a small amount of fear. Perhaps it was the events of the last twelve hours, or the way his gaze had darkened as his eyes roamed over my body. Either way, it certainly added to my excitement. He dropped the bag he had been holding and stepped toward me. "I love it when you blush," he growled, grasping my wrists. I gasped when he pulled me into him and pinned my hands behind my back. He nibbled his way up my neck and along my jaw, sending shivers down my spine.

"I thought you were in a hurry to get me out of here," I barely managed to speak, before his lips attacked mine feverishly. I moaned and relaxed into him, my arms pinned behind me almost painfully.

He released me so suddenly that I almost toppled over. "There's something I need to do first." He walked to his closet and opened a few drawers, as if he was looking for something but he couldn't quite remember where it was. He grabbed a few items, and on his way back to me, he passed the Naughty Nurse's outfit. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. "Mmm. This is nice." He eyed me lasciviously as he stalked toward me. When he reached me, he spun me around roughly and grabbed my wrists, tying them behind my back. He pushed me onto the bed so I landed on my stomach.

"What..." I started, but before I could say anything, he was straddling my back and covering my mouth with his hand. His breath tickled my ear.

"Don't speak, or I will have to gag you." he said, his voice low and seductive.

I struggled to roll over. "Edward, what the hell..." Again, I was silenced by his hand. He stuffed something cottony in my mouth as I wriggled underneath him. He wrapped a tie around my mouth and secured it at the back of my head, then flipped me over. His face was inches from mine.

"Do you trust me, Bella?" he whispered. If he would have asked me that a minute ago there would have been no doubt, but this behavior was unlike him. He was always passionate and urgent, often rough and desperate, but he had never been forceful. I had to remember that this was Edward. I knew that if I shook my head right now, he would stop. I had to decide if I was willing to submit to him in this way.

He palmed my breast roughly through my shirt and kissed my neck, and I involuntarily moaned and arched my back.

"That's my girl. Now, do you trust me?" I nodded hesitantly. My mind was still unsure, but my body was screaming at me to give in. This was different than anything I'd ever done before, but I couldn't deny that I was excited by it.

He smirked, yanking my shirt up to my chin and tearing the cups of my bra away. I writhed under him as he flicked his tongue over my nipple, while he rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger. He flattened his tongue and licked, then bit down and pulled with his teeth. I cried out, and he gently kissed and licked until the sting subsided. He switched sides and did the same thing to my other nipple, while his fingers rolled and tugged on the one his mouth had been on. He continued this until pain and pleasure were one, and I was moaning and panting and whimpering his name, almost incoherent with desire.

Suddenly, he pulled away. I felt the air tickling my nipples, which had been left ultra-sensitive after his ministrations. I looked up to see him gazing down at me. His eyes were pitch black. Unnaturally so.

"Do. You. Trust. Me?" he growled, hovering over me, ready to pounce. I nodded frantically. In a few harsh moves, he had my pants off and my panties lay shredded on the floor. He was intimidating, feral and dominating, and I had never been so turned on in my entire life. He stared hungrily at me, his eyes fixated on my exposed center. Reflexively, I tried to close my legs against his scrutiny, but he growled and yanked them as far apart as they could go. I cried out as he attacked my center with his mouth, ravaging me with his tongue and fucking me with his fingers.

His tongue sent jolts of buzzing electricity through me. He was not gentle, and before long, I was teetering on the edge, my release barreling toward me like a runaway boxcar. I felt his teeth graze me, and when he sucked and bit down on my most sensitive spot, my back arched off the bed and I screamed, my orgasm rocketing through my body, sending shockwaves through my limbs and my mind into another galaxy.

Before I'd had time to come down from my orgasmic high, he was inside me, thrusting furiously while he held my shoulders so I wouldn't slide up the bed. I wondered why he didn't just untie me, so I could hold onto him.

He pulled my legs up and held onto the backs of my knees, raising himself up. The new angle caused him to go deliciously deep within me, hitting spots I'd never known I had. I felt another orgasm building. He was resting on my legs, pressing them over my head. I was glad for all the flexibility I'd gained in karate. He thrust harder and harder, and his face contorted with pleasure as he neared his climax. He lowered himself so that my leg was over his shoulder. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, forcing me to arch my neck for him. My arms were starting to hurt from being bound behind my back, and I was having trouble breathing since I was folded in half with his weight on me while he pummeled into me. I was completely immobilized—helpless, as he ruthlessly fucked me. I was shocked to realize that I loved every brutal second of it.

His thrusts became erratic, and he started to grunt and curse. With a final roar, he pushed into me and bit down on my exposed neck, which sent me spiraling into my own release, as his body crushed me into the bed.

He quickly untied me and pulled the gag out. I snuggled into his side, and before too long, his breathing became deep and even. I stretched languidly, rubbing my wrists and shoulders. I was going to be feeling the effects of this tomorrow. My lips and girly bits were tingling. I let out a naughty giggle.

Edward groaned and rubbed his face. "What's so funny?" he asked, his voice husky from sleep, even though he'd only been out briefly. Or maybe it was from the crazy sex we'd just had.

I smiled and stretched again. "Oh, I was just thinking how every time I move for the next day or so, I'm going to have a reminder of what we just did."

"I don't feel very well." He stood up slowly, but once he was on his feet, he bolted for the bathroom, where he began heaving.

I quickly followed him. "Edward! Are you alright?" I found him leaning over the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach. When he was done, he sank to the floor. I poured him a glass of water and held it out.

"I really wish you hadn't seen that." His voice was rough.

"It's okay, you're a doctor."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He took the glass.

"I don't know. I couldn't think of anything else to say. Feel better now?"

He nodded and took a sip of water. When he looked up at me, he jumped up, holding onto the counter to steady himself.

"Bella, what the hell happened to your neck?" He sounded angry. The only thing I could think of that had happened to my neck was him.

I frowned and brought my hand up to where he'd bitten me. "Um, you bit me?"

"What?" He stormed out of the bathroom toward the bed, where he took in the twisted bed covers, ties, and a balled up sock. Face pale, he dropped onto the bed. "Bella? What did I do to you?"

I laughed nervously. "What do you mean? Are you trying to tell me that you don't remember tying me up, gagging me, and fucking me senseless?" When he shook his head, I joined him on the bed.

"Do you think something was in your drink?" I whispered.

"I don't know. Why would the poison last night be lethal and today only incapacitating?"

"You weren't incapacitated." I shuddered at the memory of what he'd done to me, which only moments ago would have made me shiver with desire. Now I wasn't sure how I felt about it. "How much did you have to drink this morning?"

"I don't know—maybe two or three mimosas? Jasper kept refilling my glass." He put his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes. "Are you alright? Did I...hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No. I had two amazing orgasms." I cringed. "You really don't remember anything?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, I do have vague recollections. Oh my God, I can't believe I did that to you." He checked me over again to make sure I was okay. "It was like I wasn't really there. Like I was seeing through someone else's eyes..." He suddenly stiffened, as if he'd thought of something terrible. His eyes looked pained. "Bella..." he whispered.

"What?" I didn't know what conclusion he had just come to, but from the look on his face, it wasn't good. He stood and grabbed our clothes. When I followed, it dawned on me that my lady parts were still tingling, as were my mouth and tongue. It wasn't the same tingling feeling you have after a good romp, but something akin to an electric buzz. I realized that the feeling had been there for awhile now, and it wasn't fading. I recalled the previous evening, when I had felt a similar sensation after I shook hands with his ghostly relatives. I felt nauseous.

"Edward, we need to leave this house. Now."


	5. Chapter 5 You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

Thanks so much to everyone who is reading this!

Special love goes out to my beta babes, HollettLA and mc101180.

* * *

I needed to take a shower. Even though it had been Edward's body doing all those things to me, the thought of James being in control while we'd had sex disgusted me. I shuddered as I remembered lying bound and helpless—and thoroughly enjoying myself—under Edward as he…

Ugh. I couldn't bear to think of it.

Edward was still pale and shaken from the experience. I didn't know how much of his reaction was from James's infiltration and how much was shock over what he had done to me. As we hurriedly finished packing, he refused to make eye contact with me, and it seemed like he was making a concerted effort not to touch me.

Was he disgusted with himself, or me? Shame coursed through me at the thought that Edward may never want to touch me again because of what had happened. My body began to move sluggishly, trying to shut down. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and hide inside my mind. I couldn't deal with the thought of losing Edward.

Edward was standing at the bedroom door, eyes downcast. "All set?" I nodded, grabbed my bag and followed him downstairs.

Jasper was waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. "Alice was just here." Both Edward and I looked around for her. "She thought it best not to be around the two of you. With the way you're feeling right now…after…well, she didn't know if she could handle the negative emotions." Oh my God, did he know? Tears pricked my eyes. The shame was overwhelming. Did Edward's entire family know what James had done to me? To us? I needed to escape before I completely lost control of my emotions. I quickly walked toward the door.

"Bella, wait," Jasper called. I stopped and partially turned. I couldn't look at him. "She said she's sorry. They all are. They didn't realize what he was doing until it was too late; they had no idea that he was capable of…that." He looked worriedly at Edward, who was stone-faced and silent, then back to me, my head hung in shame. "They're going to stop him." I nodded and walked out the door. Edward followed, a scowl on his face.

We drove silently for a few minutes when suddenly, Edward veered to the side of the road and braked hard. I put my hand on the dash to brace myself.

Both of Edward's hands were squeezing the steering wheel, and he was looking down at his lap. I steeled myself for the disgust I would see on his face when he looked at me. Bile rose in my throat, and I felt sick to my stomach as I waited for Edward to tell me that he couldn't do this anymore. That he was too repulsed by what had happened to ever be able to touch me again. That I should have known what was happening and stopped it. He'd be right – I'd felt the strange tingling from the moment his lips had touched my flesh but had thought nothing of it. I should have known what it was. I had allowed myself to be violated by his former wife's dead lover. I wasn't surprised that he didn't want to look at me.

Edward strove to be a gentleman, so I was positive he'd offer to drive me the rest of the way to Charlie's, but I would decline. I wanted to walk – to get lost in the forest and hopefully eaten by wild animals. Anything to take away the pain of Edward leaving me.

I was slumped down in my seat, facing the passenger window. Edward cleared his throat. "Please don't leave," he whispered so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him correctly.

I turned my head toward him but still didn't look at him. "What did you say?"

His voice became stronger, choked with emotion. "What I did to you was unforgivable, but I can't not have you in my life." He turned his body toward me but still didn't touch me. "Please…_please_ don't leave me. I promise that I'll never touch you again, if that's what you wish. I'll do whatever you need me to – I'll throw out all my ties, even my socks – whatever you need. Just know that I will never, ever, allow… _that_… to happen again. You are too important to me." The words flowed quickly from him before he paused and looked at me.

I still wouldn't meet his gaze. "Bella, look at me." I reluctantly raised my eyes to his and gasped at the pain I saw in them. "You are my life now," he said fervently. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. My heart wanted to believe that I had misunderstood his aloofness, that he blamed himself, not me, but my mind was working overtime, eyeing him suspiciously while pointing an accusing finger at me.

"You mean…you're not disgusted by me?" I was having trouble making my voice work, but he heard me.

"God no, Bella! How could you think that? You did nothing wrong. I was the one who…" He frowned. "Wait. Do you see what he's doing? We're doing exactly what he wants. He's trying to drive us apart." He reached for me tentatively. When I didn't flinch, he took my hand in his. "I won't let him do this to us, Bella. I meant what I said – I'll give you whatever you need, just as long as you'll stay with me." His beautiful features were set determinedly.

"I need _you_, Edward," I whispered. He pulled me closer to him and placed his forehead on mine.

"Really? You still want me?"

"I'll always want you, no matter what." I rolled my eyes at myself. "I'm pathetic."

He snorted. "I just offered to throw away all my ties and socks so you'd stay with me. I think I'm more pathetic."

We sat silent and motionless. I was flooded with emotions, relief being the most prominent. I tried to hold back tears. I realized that I wasn't successful when I felt Edward's thumbs wiping moisture off my cheeks.

"It's okay, love." He kissed my cheek, then pulled back to look at me. "It is, isn't it?"

I smiled wearily and nodded. He gently tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. There was still apprehension between us. We were being tentative with each other, and I hated it.

"Edward, you can touch me. I don't blame you." To prove my point, I took his hands and placed them on my shoulders. I unbuckled my seatbelt, ran my hands up his chest to his neck and pulled him toward me. I raised myself up onto my knees and brought my lips to his.

Our kisses were soft and passionate this time, each of us pouring our love and devotion for the other into each gentle caress. I felt his tongue lightly touch my bottom lip then pull back. He was still nervous. I raised myself up higher, grasped his head in my hands, and deepened the kiss. He needed me to be in control right now. I clambered over the console, trying to get closer to him. He pulled me onto his lap and sighed as our bodies gained the connection they craved.

We remained like that for a while, just kissing and touching in the front seat of Edward's car. I heard the sound of other vehicles passing us, but I didn't care; we were in our own little bubble. I found it strange that there were so many people driving around here on Christmas morning – maybe there were more houses near Edward's than I realized.

Eventually, I tore myself away. "Charlie's going to come looking for us in his patrol car soon." Edward nodded and frowned, his bottom lip sticking out slightly, and I reluctantly got settled once again in the passenger seat.

When we pulled back onto the road, I realized that we were on the main highway, not the back road near Edward's house like I had initially thought. _That explains the cars passing us._

"I'm going to stop for gas. I think Walter's is open on Christmas." He didn't let go of my hand, even to shift gears. I waited in the car while Edward filled it was gas. What were we going to do now? There was no way either of us would be going back to his house while James was still a threat. Was Jasper going to be safe there? I hoped we got a chance to speak with Alice, or maybe Edward's parents, soon. I felt so helpless.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a familiar voice address Edward. "Dr. Cullen! Was that you on the side of the road? I was going to stop and see if you needed help, but it looked like you were um…well taken care of." The voice chuckled, and my stomach dropped.

Jacob.

I didn't want to do this now. But really, I probably would never want to do this, so I took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped out.

Jacob's laughter died abruptly when he saw me get out of the car. "Bella," he whispered.

"Hello, Jacob."

Edward had a confused look on his face as he looked at Jacob and then at me. "You two know each other?" Hadn't I mentioned Jacob's name when I relayed my story to Edward? When I looked into Edward's eyes, they widened and his face turned red. _Now he remembers_. He looked in pain again. This must be his worst Christmas ever. All I'd given him was a slutty nurse's outfit and a load of hurt. I should have just stayed in the car; we'd had enough drama for one Christmas morning.

"I heard you were in town for Christmas," Jacob said quietly.

I nodded. "Actually, I'm moving here." Edward smiled and moved closer to my side.

Jacob smiled too. "Really? That's great." We stood awkwardly for a moment. When a grey F150 drove past, Jacob stared at it, frowned, and then cleared his throat. "Look, Dr. Cullen, I've always thought you were a good guy." He looked at me again. "And Bella's important to me, so I need to tell you this." I crossed my arms and glared at him. He held up his hands, motioning for me to hear him out. I waved my hand, signaling for him to continue.

"Everyone's pretty upset about Jared, as you can imagine. But some of the guys that hunted with Jared are a little…irrational. They're blaming you. "

Edward nodded. "I figured as much. I was getting some pretty dirty looks last night at the hospital."

Jacob looked contrite. "Yeah. Leah's got a pretty tight rein on that group, but there are a few renegades in it. Just…be careful, okay? And take care of Bella."

Edward nodded. "Thank you," he said, putting his hand on my lower back and leading me back to the car. I was stunned by the brief exchange, and touched by Jacob's concern. Perhaps I could forgive him? It was Christmas, after all.

I turned around. "Jacob!" He was about to get back into his car but looked up when I called him. I smiled and waved. "Merry Christmas."

He returned the gesture and the smile. "Merry Christmas, Bella."

When we arrived at Charlie's, the grey F150 that had passed the station was parked out front. I frowned. Charlie hadn't mentioned anything about anyone else joining us for Christmas. If he was expecting me to cook for him and all of his fishing buddies, he was sorely mistaken.

When we walked through the front door, we were surrounded by the warm, savory smell of roasting turkey.

"It's about time you two got here—I was just about to put out an APB." Charlie sat in his recliner holding a beer. There were several empty beer bottles surrounding the coffee table.

Sue Clearwater walked out of the kitchen, wearing an apron. "Merry Christmas, Bella!" She hugged me and nodded curtly at Edward. "Dr. Cullen."

Edward sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Clearwater." She scowled and turned her back to him.

"Mother! Stop being a bitch and get back in the kitchen." Leah Clearwater had been sitting in a chair across the room from Charlie. Her brother, Seth, was on the floor beside her. I hadn't noticed them when we came in. Charlie frowned at Leah but said nothing. He stood and followed Sue into the kitchen.

Leah got up from her chair and walked over to us. Edward and I looked at each other, not knowing if we should be thankful that she stuck up for him, or worried that she was going to pick up where Sue left off. We were shocked when she pulled us both in for warm hugs.

"Don't mind my mother. She's got a tiny brain," she whispered. "Merry Christmas. To _both_ of you." Edward visibly relaxed at her warm greeting. Seth ambled over to us and shook our hands. He had a warm smile and a strong grip. I had to massage my hand after he let it go.

"We were just watching _A Christmas Story_. Wanna join?" Seth asked. I squealed and clapped my hands. Sure, not the most mature reaction, but it's my favorite Christmas movie, and I only get to see it once a year. Leah's smile looked a little condescending at my outburst, but I shrugged it off. Seth laughed heartily and settled back down on the floor to resume the movie. It felt so good to be here with Charlie and the Clearwaters—just like my summers here when I was a child. I felt comfortable and relaxed, the antics of Ralphie and his little brother Randy effectively clearing my mind of ghosts and poisoned champagne. And how horrible our Christmas morning had turned out to be.

Sue and Charlie were still in the kitchen. I could hear low voices and the clanging of pots and pans. I shouldn't be surprised to find the Clearwaters here – they've been good friends with Charlie for years. Sue and Leah had frequently visited Charlie when I was staying with him in the summers while growing up, and Leah's dad, Harry, had been a steady fishing partner for Charlie. Sadly, he had passed away a few years ago.

Leah and I had never become friends—we had both been too shy. But grown-up Leah did not appear to be shy. She seemed strong and sure of herself. She didn't seem to blame Edward for Jared's death, which showed that she didn't let her emotions rule her. I thought back to the previous night. She had remained level-headed and had most likely prevented the others from panicking and causing trouble. I admired the way she had handled the men in her group. Grown-up Leah was definitely the type of friend that I would like to have in my new life.

Sue and Charlie eventually came back into the living room. After the movie, everyone began watching _A Charlie Brown Christmas._ I was a little tired of that one, so I excused myself and went up to my old bedroom, where Charlie kept a computer. I really hoped he had replaced the dial-up internet connection with something a little more up to date.

I was relieved when I was able to get onto Google in under two minutes. I typed in "paranormal specialists Seattle" and eventually found a page belonging to a ghost hunter who worked at the Seattle Museum of Mysteries. He had once been a researcher for the Center for Consciousness Studies at the University of Arizona. There were so many different links to choose from, and I had absolutely no idea what I really needed. So the fact that J. Jenks was from my home state of Arizona was the piece of arbitrary information I used to decide who to contact first. I typed up a brief email, asking him if he'd speak with me, and hit send.

I heard a soft knock on the door. It opened a crack and Leah peeked in. I motioned for her to come in.

"I got tired of listening to Edward and Seth bonding over their mutual empathy for Charlie Brown's Christmas tree." She plopped down onto my bed, and I laughed.

"Yeah, when I saw Edward's eyes light up at the start of the movie, I figured that he'd empathize with the ratty little tree. He's all about the underdog."

"Seth too. It's a good thing Charlie already drank most of the beer, or else they'd be outside looking for a shrub to decorate." We laughed some more, and she peered over my shoulder at the computer. I realized that I still had the ghost hunter's page up and quickly tried to minimize it.

"Paranormal stuff. That's interesting. Can't you just ask them any questions you have?" That's right—she knew about the ghosts. She'd seen them last night. I remembered how some of the Quileutes had reacted with revulsion when Carlisle had walked into the room. Leah hadn't reacted at all. Maybe she was someone I could talk to about all the crazy things that have been happening? I thought better of it for right now—I didn't know her at all. But at least I didn't have to hide the truth from her.

"Yeah, well, it's been kind of overwhelming, you know? I just thought that maybe I could do some of my own research," I said. She nodded thoughtfully. "I'm curious. Why did some of the guys you were with last night look so disgusted when Carlisle showed up?"

She chuckled. "Boys will be boys. I've seen some of those guys face off with a hungry wolf and not look frightened, but give them anything supernatural and they're shaking in their hiking boots." I laughed again. Sometimes men could be such pussies.

"So, does everyone on the reservation know? About the Cullen ghosts, I mean?"

Leah nodded. "There are legends passed down by the elders. Most people don't really believe them, but those of us who were there last night sure do now." Hmm. They had mostly reacted with disgust or revulsion last night—I didn't recall any of them looking surprised.

"Girls! Dinner's ready!" Charlie hollered up the stairs. Leah and I made our way down to the dinner table, where Seth was animatedly explaining to Edward the merits of hunting with a cross bow versus a rifle.

"Dude, the feeling you get when you're forty feet away from a buck, trying to remain hidden, going in for the kill…"

"Seth! Not at the dinner table!" Sue chastised. Seth chuckled and began filling his plate with heaps of mashed potatoes. I poured everyone some wine then sat down beside Edward.

"Sue, this is wonderful. Thanks so much for cooking all of this!" I had expected to be doing most of the cooking myself, so it had been a pleasant surprise to be able to relax this afternoon.

Sue smiled. "It's my pleasure. I've been taking good care of Charlie for you." They exchanged looks, and I wondered how long she had been _taking care_ of Charlie. I looked across the table at Leah, who was frowning down at her plate.

"So, Leah, what have you been up to these last few years?" I asked.

Leah's posture straightened, and she cleared her throat. "A few years ago, I started an outdoor education group at the high school, and it's evolved into a group of adults who are trying to follow our ancestor's ways."

Sue scoffed. "Evolved? You mean you got booted out for screwing a student," she muttered.

Leah glared at her. "Well, mother, look who I've got for a role model."

Charlie blanched. He coughed and tried to steer the conversation back to something less volatile. "Anyways, so Leah is the leader of the pack." He chuckled at his joke. "She's done great things for the community. Some of those boys probably would have ended up in my jail if it hadn't been for her."

Leah's face was expressionless. "Thank you, Charlie." She looked at me again, and her face became animated once more. "We hunt using bow and arrow"—she looked at Seth and made a face—"or crossbow, and we try to keep up our ancestors' spiritual practices and beliefs."

My eyebrows shot up at this. It was the Quileute's spiritual practices and beliefs that allowed the Cullens to return to the living as spirits. Why then did some of them find it so repulsive? I guessed that just because they tried to practice a certain way doesn't mean that they all buy into it. Just like any religion, really.

The rest of dinner was spent discussing banalities, trying to keep tensions down between Leah and her mother. I didn't remember them fighting so much before. I hoped it wasn't because of Sue's relationship with Charlie, although I realized that it probably was.

I helped Sue serve Christmas pudding with rum sauce, and then we went back into the living room to digest.

Charlie reached under the tree and pulled out two presents wrapped beautifully in shiny paper, tied with lovely bows. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Uh, Sue did my wrapping for me." He smiled sheepishly. I was shocked when he handed one of the packages to Edward.

So was Edward. His mouth dropped open. "Wow, thanks, Chief. You didn't have to."

Charlie looked stern. "I know." Then he smiled impishly. "But I know what Bella's like, and I figured that you'd never see this if I didn't give it to you." _Oh shit! Did he…_

He did. Edward tore into the wrapping paper and triumphantly pulled out a copy of my first book. I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Dad! I would have given it to him eventually. You know I like to keep that part of my life private!" I looked at the Clearwaters, who were all grinning at me.

"Wow, Bella—you wrote that? I've read both books in the series. I totally love them! When's your next one coming out?" Leah asked.

"It's due to be out next year, but I'm still writing it," I replied quietly. I had planned on getting a big chunk of it done over my holidays here in Forks, but things had not been going as I'd planned. I looked at Edward and smiled. _Best distraction ever. _

Edward returned my smile. "Marie Swan?"

"It was my grandmother's name. Marie is actually my middle name—I guess if I want to remain anonymous I should pick a better pseudonym."

He laughed and gave me a hug. "I won't read it if you don't want me to."

Charlie glared at him. "Hey! I paid twelve bucks for that – you'd better read it!" He turned to me and crossed his arms. "You'd think as the author's father I'd get a discount."

"Well, if you'd talked to me, I could have gotten you one."

"But then you wouldn't have let me give it to him."

I shrugged; he had a point. I turned to Edward and sighed. "Of course you can read it." He gave my shoulders a squeeze and kissed the top of my head in thanks.

Charlie opened the present that Edward and I had brought for him, and quickly went to the kitchen to get himself a glass for his new bottle of Talisker single malt scotch. That was pretty much it for Christmas. The Clearwaters had exchanged presents earlier, and Leah and Seth were putting on their jackets.

"Well, Bella…Edward, it was nice to see you. I'm glad we've met under better circumstances this time." Leah smiled sadly.

I stepped toward her and put a hand on her shoulder. "I never got the chance to say how sorry I am. How are the others handling it?"

Her eyes were downcast. "Not well, I'm afraid. People are angry." She looked at Edward. "It's a mob mentality on the Res—one person gets angry, and it spreads like wildfire. But your family has always been well respected there. It'll blow over."

Edward stood beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist. "Thanks so much for understanding. And not hating me." He smiled and Leah smiled back.

Seth had been staring blankly at his sister, but when Edward spoke, he reached out and gave him an enthusiastic pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry—we've got your back."

When the door closed, Charlie sat back down in his recliner. "So, you staying here tonight then?"

"Yeah, Dad. Do you mind if Edward stays too?"

Edward shifted uncomfortably. "Or we could just get a hotel room—I don't want to be a bother." He looked in Sue's direction. She was busy cleaning the kitchen.

"Nonsense. Don't you worry about her—it's just like Leah said. Mob mentality. Sue just gets caught up in the drama sometimes."

As he finished speaking, Sue walked in. "So, Bella, Charlie told me that you might be staying tonight. I put your sheets in the wash this afternoon. I'll just go get them out of the dryer."

"Oh no, Sue, let me. I'm used to looking after myself around here." I looked pointedly at Charlie, who shrugged sheepishly.

"No, no, no. You visit with your father. He's hardly gotten to see you at all since you've been in town." She leveled a glare at Edward and then scurried toward the laundry room.

Edward's face was bright red. "Bella, let's just get a hotel room."

I looked at Charlie. "Is Sue staying over too?" He nodded. "Should we tell her that Edward's staying, or just go upstairs and let her draw her own conclusions?"

Edward objected. "Bella…" His protest was cut off by a toe-curling scream. Charlie bolted up the stairs. Edward and I followed.

Sue was on her knees beside my bed, cradling her arm. "Spider…in the bed…bit me," she growled through clenched teeth. She began rocking back and forth. Charlie gently took her arm so he could look at the bite, and I gasped when I saw the ugly, swollen red circle on her skin. Her whole arm was starting to turn red already.

Edward kneeled beside her. Sue yanked her arm away from Charlie and cradled it close to her again. "Mrs. Clearwater, I can help you. Please, let me see your arm," Edward pleaded.

Her body stilled. "I don't need your brand of medicine, _D__octor_. Get away from me," she seethed.

Edward stood and moved toward my bed. "Charlie, that swelling doesn't look good. She may be having an allergic reaction to the bite. She should go to the hospital. I'll look for the spider—we need to know what bit her."

As Charlie wrapped his arms around Sue to help her off the floor, she moaned in pain. Edward pulled back the sheets on my bed and gasped as a small black spider with a red hourglass shape on its back scurried over the side.

"Holy shit, that's a black widow!" Charlie quickly scooped Sue into his arms. I leaped backward into the hallway. I couldn't stand spiders, even the non-lethal ones.

Sue moaned again. "Argh! Charlie—it hurts!"

"I know, sweetheart. I'm going to get you to the hospital right away."

I stood in the doorway, blocking his exit. "I'll call an ambulance. You've been drinking."

"Goddamn it, Bella, I'm fine! I'm taking her in my cruiser!" He pushed past me and rushed down the stairs. I could hear Sue's sobs as Charlie put her into the cruiser.

Edward pulled the bed out, looking for the spider.

"Edward – just leave it! We'll call an exterminator in the morning!" My body felt like there was something slithering just under my skin. I wrapped my arms around myself and squirmed and shuddered. My feet were twitching, wanting to be up off the floor where nothing creepy and crawly could get at them.

Edward laughed. "Are you afraid of spiders?"

"I'd say I have a healthy fear of things that can crawl up my pant legs and bite me, yes." At that thought, I had to pat down my legs just to make sure that hadn't actually happened.

He pushed on the bed again, slowly moving it across the floor, his shoe in his hand, ready to strike. "They're more afraid of you than you are of them."

"Then that spider is long gone, because I'm super freaked out. In fact, I can't watch." I hurried down the stairs. When I got to the bottom, I heard a loud _WHACK,_ then a triumphant "Got you, you little bugger!" As I waited for Edward to come down the stairs, hopefully bearing the spoils of his hunt in a covered container—one that I couldn't see into—I glanced out the front window. I saw movement across the street, which was strange since it was mostly forest and late evening on Christmas Day. I turned the lamp off so I could see better.

A dark figure was exiting the thick bushes and making its way toward a small car parked in the shadows.

"Maybe Leah will let me join her hunting group!" I shrieked and spun around. Edward was standing behind me, holding out a glass that contained a large, gooey, squished spider. "She was a juicy one!"

I leaped across the room, far away from Edward and his leaky friend, in a single bound. Okay, maybe it took a few bounds. "Jesus, Edward! That's disgusting!" My stomach heaved. "I have to get out of here. Let's go to the hospital to make sure Sue's okay."

"We should call Leah and Seth. Do you have their number?"

I picked up Charlie's portable phone and was surprised to see that he had actually programmed some numbers into it. I found _Clearwater, S_ and hit send. It rang and rang.

"They probably went to someone's house for some Christmas cheer. Let's just go."

We got into the car and began the drive to the hospital. Edward rubbed my leg. "It's kind of weird – black widow spiders usually stay far away from people. You rarely hear about them in houses."

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Good grief, do you think this was another attack on _us_?" I started to panic again. "But you said James couldn't come here! He'd never been to Charlie's house while he was alive!"

Edward looked pensive. "We don't know that for sure." He ran his hand through his hair. "Who the hell knows? Maybe he used to be a Jehovah's Witness, or a vacuum salesman."

I screamed and slammed my hands on the dash. Edward looked at me, shocked, and pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Goddamn him! Why can't he just leave us alone?" Angry tears streamed down my face. Edward leaned across the console and held me as tightly as he could.

"I don't know, Bella. I don't know what to do." He stroked my hair soothingly. "But just know that I will protect you with every fiber in my being. With my own life, if I have to."

I clung to his shoulders. "I'm so worried about you, Edward. Now that I've found you, I don't ever want to be without you." I sobbed into his shirt, the stress of the last two days finally breaking through.

He held me and whispered soothing words while I cried myself out. This was all so frustrating. If this was a human perpetrator, like in my books, we would be able to do something. We could involve the police, get a restraining order, and lock the door. I needed to feel like there was something I could do to stop this.

My sobs eventually turned into shaky breaths. "I emailed a paranormal specialist in Seattle," I said once I found my voice again.

He stiffened. "What? What did you tell him?"

I looked up at him, surprised at his reaction. "Nothing! I just asked if I could speak with him. I feel so helpless. There's got to be some way we can stop James."

His brow was furrowed. "I understand how you feel, but we need to trust that my family will figure out a way to stop him from where they are." I looked incredulously at him. "Bella, did you stop to think what those people will do when they hear about my family's ghosts? Do you really want us to end up on an episode of _Ghost Hunters_?"

_Shit_. I hadn't thought about that. I was just so desperate to do _something. _I sniffled. "No, I didn't think about that. I'm sorry." Edward squeezed my leg. He put the car in gear, signaled, and pulled onto the road. I heard a siren in the distance. "Maybe we could check him out first, feel him out? Or just ask him for information without giving him any specifics?"

Edward sighed. "We'll see. Let me know when he emails you back."

As we approached the bend in the road near the hospital, I saw numerous emergency vehicles with their lights flashing.

"Damn, a car accident." Edward turned to me. "I'm going to see if I can help." I smiled. _My hero_. As we got closer to the scene, my smile quickly faded. A police cruiser was wrapped around a tree. It looked as though it hadn't even tried to make the turn.

"Oh my God!" I was taking off my seatbelt before Edward had stopped the car. He reached out to stop me.

"Bella, calm down. It might not be…"

I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. I was out the door in an instant, racing toward the ambulance into which I had just seen Charlie being loaded, his body strapped to a stretcher.

* * *

A/N March 26, 2011 - Chapter 6 is almost done! RL hit me hard last month and I lost my mojo. If you want to see where my head was at, check out "The Lion and the Dragon". Its dark. But I'm better now, and I had a chat with my characters and we all understand each other much better now.


	6. Chapter 6 One More Thing

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is the sole property of the great Stephenie Meyer. I am simply borrowing her beloved characters for my own amusement.

Thanks so much to my lovely betas, HollettLA and MC101180!

Sorry this update took so long. RL hit me hard and, even though I made time in my schedule to write, I lost my mojo. But I've had a heart-to-heart with the characters, and we've since come to an understanding. So, without further ado, I give you - chapter 6!

Recap: Christmas Day, Bella and Edward were having some smexy times, when James possessed Edward's body and made him tie Bella up and treat her roughly. Bella loved it, of course, until she realized what had happened. After the ensuing angst, they went to Charlie's for Christmas Dinner. The Clearwaters were there, and Sue made dinner while the "kids" got to know each other better. Leah was a total bitch to her mother and left right after dinner. Later, Sue was getting Bella's bed ready when she was bitten by a Black Widow spider. Charlie insisted on driving her to the hospital, even though he had been drinking. He got into an accident.

* * *

Every time I think that I'm getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens.

~Elvis Presley

Chapter 6 – Just One More Thing

The waiting area in the emergency room was silent except for the low drone of CNN on the TV and the occasional uncomfortable sigh from a man with his leg in a homemade splint. The bright lights had burned all coherent thought out of my brain and left me in a foggy, worry-induced haze. I was trying unsuccessfully to piece together the events of the day and make sense of it all.

_What the hell is going on?_

When I listed off everything in my mind, it didn't seem possible. I shivered as I thought about all that had transpired in the last twenty-four hours, and Edward wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into his chest. I buried my face in his shirt and sighed heavily. The situation had gotten severely out of control, and I was beginning to doubt the Cullens' ability to subdue James. I had gotten the impression that they didn't know very much about their own capabilities; eternity had made them complacent. Time must mean something completely different to them.

I heard the whir of the automatic door. "Bella!" Charlie's deputy, Mark, walked in. He had stayed back to investigate the scene. I was certain he knew Charlie had been drinking and was probably desperately searching for a sign that the accident wasn't his fault. It would really suck for him to have to arrest his boss.

Mark looked at how Edward's arm was protectively wrapped around me, how I clung to him, and his face blanched.

I let go of Edward and sat up quickly to reassure him. "He's okay. At least, he's going to be. He broke his leg. They're just putting it in a cast." Mark's body sagged with relief. He looked at Edward curiously – it must be strange to see him in the waiting area rather than in the ER.

Edward shifted uncomfortably. "You know, all the hours I've spent here, I don't think I've ever sat in one of these chairs. It's...different. But I didn't want to leave Bella alone." He squeezed my shoulders. "He's in good hands with Dr. Gerandy." I smiled when I realized that it must be difficult for Edward to stay here with me when he could be helping. _He has such a good heart_.

An awkward silence descended on the conversation. Mark rubbed the back of his neck as he said, "I need to get a statement from him. This should be fun." I had expected him to ask me if Charlie had been drinking, but he didn't. He took a deep breath and walked purposefully through the Emergency Room doors. He looked like a man on a mission.

Edward and I exchanged worried glances. He rubbed my shoulders. "Charlie did most of his drinking before dinner—maybe he isn't over the limit anymore." I didn't share Edward's optimism. It was a wonder that, with his cavalier attitude, Charlie had become Chief of Police. They must have been really desperate.

I felt a stab of guilt for thinking such horrible things about my father. Especially since it was my fault this had happened. I stopped my thoughts from going down that road. I refused to let myself think that if I hadn't come here, Edward's life wouldn't be in danger and Charlie wouldn't be about to lose his badge. The thought of never having met Edward was too painful. My former life seemed like a stale old costume trunk with nothing interesting inside it. Just a musty smell.

The automatic door opened again, and Leah and Seth strode into the bright waiting room.

I stood to greet them. "Thank goodness. I tried to call you!"

Leah frowned. "Yeah, we were over at Sam's house and Angela called to tell him. I guess she's working tonight." She scowled. "How is my mom?" She looked at Edward, who stood.

He looked at her sympathetically. "She was in a lot of pain, so they've sedated her. There's really not much they can do –a hospital this small doesn't have antivenom, so all they can do is manage her pain until her body processes the poison. Her body is reacting badly to the bite – they want to keep an eye on her overnight." Seth tensed, but Leah's face was stoic.

"Can I see her?" Seth asked quietly. Edward took Seth to check on Sue, leaving me alone with Leah. I looked at her curiously when she didn't make a move to follow her brother.

Leah shrugged. "I won't be any good to her if she's unconscious. And when she is conscious, we only aggravate each other anyways." She slumped into a chair. "Angela said it was a spider bite? How the hell did that happen?"

I sighed and sat down beside her. "The spider was in my bed. She was putting clean sheets on it when she was bitten." Leah scoffed and looked down at her lap but said nothing.

The TV continued to drone on in the background as we sat in silence. I wanted to confide in her and tell her about James, but I was worried about what she would think. She was accepting of the Cullens and their secret, but would this information change that? I decided to broach the topic carefully.

"What do you know about the tribe's history with the Cullens?" I finally asked.

Leah turned her head toward me and stared for a moment before answering. "Not much. Just the usual legends that are passed down." At my look of disappointment, she added, "If you want, you could come to the Res and I'll introduce you to some of the elders. They'd know more than me."

I nodded, smiling. "Thanks, I'd like that a lot."

I got her phone number just as Edward came back out to the waiting area. He squatted in front of me and took my hand tenderly. "Charlie's going to be a while yet. Did you want something from the vending machines?"

I shook my head. Between the stress I was experiencing and the massive amount of food I'd ingested at dinner, I may never eat again. Edward stood as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. When I opened them again, he was near the door on his cell phone.

"Yes, I know. But what if he decides you're in his way too? You don't know for certain that you're safe there." He paced back and forth, getting more and more agitated.

When his face blanched and he stopped moving, I quickly went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I tried to pull his anguish from him and into me.

He spoke quietly through clenched teeth. "I figured as much. You're playing with fire, Jasper. I hope you don't get burned." He shut the phone and stared at it, his fingertips turning red from squeezing it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Leah gazing at us with a strange expression on her face.

Dr. Gerandy approached us, smiling. "The Chief will be ready to go soon. We got him some crutches, but the nurse will wheel him out. That way when he breaks his other leg, he can't sue us."

The doctors in Forks were well acquainted with the Swan family.

Edward went to get the car as I waved good-bye to Leah and waited for the nurse to bring Charlie out. I was pleasantly surprised to see Angela steering Charlie through the ER doors. He looked displeased with being stuck in a wheelchair.

"Bella! It's lovely to see you again." She wheeled Charlie outside and handed him his crutches. He glared at them for a moment before his shoulders slumped and he begrudgingly took them. "I'm afraid the dear Chief is going to need some help getting around for a while."

"I'm fine, Angela. Stop fussing," Charlie grumbled. "If Gerandy would have just put a walking cast on me like I asked, instead of this torture device, I'd be fine." He tapped his large white cast with a crutch and winced. "Shit!"

"Now, Chief, you be a good boy and don't give Bella a hard time. I'll be asking her for regular reports." Angela smirked and ruffled Charlie's hair, then handed me a small paper bag.

Charlie blushed and muttered something about being a grown man and Chief of Police.

I suppressed a laugh and thanked Angela. Edward had pulled the car up and was trying to help Charlie, but he kept shoving him away, knocking himself off balance and almost falling every time.

This time I laughed out loud. "Just give up, Edward. We Swans are stubbornly independent."

Edward held up his hands in defeat, and Charlie hobbled into the passenger seat of the Volvo. His face was twisted in pain, beads of sweat accumulating on his forehead.

I shook my head and got into the backseat. By the time we got home, Charlie was groaning and Edward had had enough.

He turned and looked at Charlie. "You refused the pain meds, didn't you?" Charlie grimaced and nodded. He allowed Edward to help him into the house, but it still took him a long time. When he finally fell into his recliner, he looked exhausted.

Edward took the bag Angela had given me and pulled out Charlie's pain medication, and I went to grab a pillow and blanket for Charlie. I wasn't about to put Edward through the stress of helping Charlie upstairs. He'd be fine in the recliner.

When Charlie was all medicated and tucked in, Edward went into the kitchen to make us some tea. I still had no idea how the accident had happened, so as Charlie squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, waiting for the pain medication to work, I brought it up.

"Care to tell me how you wrapped your cruiser around a tree?" I couldn't beat around the bush –he probably wouldn't be lucid for very long.

Charlie groaned again. "Jesus, Bella, I wasn't drunk. I know that's what you're thinking, but I was perfectly capable of driving."

I looked at him incredulously. "Did Mark give you a breathalyzer test?"

Charlie laughed. "Are you kidding?" He stopped laughing when he saw the glare I was giving him.

He laid his head back and closed his eyes. "Sue was going to throw up. She was in so much pain." His eyes flew open. "Will you go check on her tomorrow for me, please?" He implored. When I nodded, he sighed in relief. "I was just about to enter the turn when she rolled down the window, so I tried to pull over before I reached the turn. I turned the steering wheel and nothing happened." He was massaging his temples with his fingers. "Thank God, I'd already slowed down." His speech was slowing and getting softer.

I pulled the blanket up around him as he drifted off. My mind was reeling. I didn't know much about cars, but it seemed strange to me that a fairly new police cruiser's steering would just give out. I stood staring at the almost-sleeping form of my father, wanting more answers. Had he been so intoxicated that he thought he'd turned the wheel when he hadn't? Edward took my hand and led me toward the kitchen.

"Gotta get a new mechanic," Charlie mumbled, and then started to snore softly.

Edward and I sat in the kitchen, sipping tea. My mind was racing with everything that was going on. "Was Charlie's car sabotaged?" I whispered, hardly wanting to give voice to the idea. I didn't want to add anything else to our growing list of disasters. I really hoped that Edward would tell me that it was normal for this to happen – that there had actually been a recall on that particular model of vehicle and Charlie, in his absentmindedness, had forgotten to take the car into the shop.

But I knew that was not the case. And Edward's silence confirmed it. He just shrugged and avoided making eye contact with me. I ran both hands through my hair and pulled, wanting to scream so badly.

Edward's eyes widened. He stood immediately and put his hands over mine, massaging gently and trying to get me to release my hair. When I complied, he ran his hands down my neck and began to rub my shoulders. I felt the tension start to leave my body, and I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against his stomach.

"Is there someone you can call to stay here with Charlie tonight?" Edward asked quietly.

My body tensed again. We couldn't leave Charlie alone, but there was no way I was sleeping here tonight. I thought of Mark, but immediately dismissed that idea—I couldn't ask him to leave his family to come babysit his boss. Besides, how could I explain to him why I couldn't stay here?

_Oh, um, an evil ghost put spiders in my bed. But I'm sure you'll be fine. _

I was so tired of feeling helpless. I was even more tired of the worry lines that had set up permanent residence between Edward's eyebrows. I hated what this was doing to us. Anger ripped through my body and all my muscles clenched, wanting something tangible to beat.

_Fuck James. _

I vowed to find a way to send him straight to hell.

Edward sat down and pulled his chair closer to mine. "I'll check the bed again for spiders. I'm sure we'll be fine."

I shuddered and imagined the feel of something creeping up my pant legs again. Rubbing my legs, I shook my head. I looked at the couch, and Edward cringed.

"No. We are not sleeping on the couch together, and I'm not sleeping without you." He took my chin in his fingers. "I spoke with Jasper tonight. He hasn't seen Alice today, which could mean they are dealing with James. We'll be fine. I will keep you safe."

His eyes burned into mine with such intensity that I couldn't help but believe him. I needed to give in, to let myself believe that we were safe even if deep down I knew we weren't. There really wasn't another option. I let him lead me up the stairs to my room.

The sheets that Sue had begun to put on were in a pile on the floor. Edward picked them up and shook them out, while I cowered in the hallway. I hated feeling like such a chicken shit, but I couldn't compel my legs to walk into the room when a spider could come flying out of those sheets at any moment.

Edward pulled the bed away from the wall so it was almost in the center of the room and looked at me knowingly. As ridiculous as it was, having the bed away from the wall made me feel a little less apprehensive. There were now fewer spots for spiders to hide, and I smiled widely at Edward's thoughtfulness.

I tentatively began helping him put the sheets on the bed, and soon we were in our pajamas and ready for sleep. I lifted the blanket up high and peeked underneath, looking for little black bodies, and Edward rolled his eyes. He was already under the covers, holding his arms out for me to join him.

Edward pulled me close to him as soon as I hopped into bed. I snuggled into his warmth and let the feeling of security his proximity gave wash over me. His hands caressed my back and my sides. His body was so warm, the heat radiated out of him and flowed into me, drowning out all of our problems and enclosing us in a safe little bubble.

Of their own accord, my hands wandered into his hair, and I began to massage his scalp. He groaned and suddenly pulled my body underneath his, making me gasp in surprise as flames erupted in my core.

But while my body responded favorably, my brain remembered our last intimate encounter. _How will I know if it's really him?_ I stiffened.

He pulled away with a look of horror on his face. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. My heart broke at the wounded expression on his face.

I tugged on the front of his t-shirt to bring him back to me and caressed his cheek, trying to convey my love and acceptance of him. "It's okay, Edward."

He sighed and rolled onto his back, pulling me so that my head rested on his chest. He flung his arm over his eyes. "I want you so much, but after what happened this morning…"

I propped myself up on one elbow and pulled at his arm so I could see his eyes. "Shh…let's just snuggle, okay? God only knows who's watching."

He frowned. "My family would never spy like that." He didn't have to say the name of the only person who would do such a thing.

I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes. His heartbeat and his slow, even breaths should have lulled me to sleep, but after all the stress of the day, I found myself wide awake and wanting his touch desperately. I tried to keep still, hoping to relax enough that sleep would find me, but my body was buzzing from his closeness, wanting more. I reached over to find his hand and intertwined my fingers with his. He hummed in contentment.

With the blankets pulled up high around us and the evening silence punctuated only by our breathing, the outside world disappeared. The more I tried to ignore my body's reaction to him, the more I burned for him.

"Edward…" I whispered.

"What is it, love?" His voice was soft like chenille.

"I can't sleep." I really hoped I wasn't keeping him awake. Maybe he'd been asleep already?

"Hmm. Neither can I." Oh, whew.

"Maybe we should talk about everything that's happened?" My stomach clenched with anxiety.

"Okay, if that's what you want."

"No, I don't really want that."

He rolled us onto our sides so we were facing each other, his eyes gleaming as he caressed my cheek. "What do you want, then?"

I wanted him to touch me all over and make me forget about what had happened that morning. I wanted him to toss the blankets aside, tear my clothes off and show James exactly who I belonged to and how good he could make me feel, and that nothing was going to tear us apart, no matter how many spiders he threw our way.

I couldn't say it. Could I let him touch me like that, knowing that there was a possibility that James could take over? I stared into his eyes and hoped he understood.

He exhaled a long breath and continued caressing my cheek. I could taste his breath as it washed over my face and I wanted his lips on mine. I inched closer to him, willing him with my eyes to understand what I needed.

"Bella…" he whispered and pulled my hips even closer. He pressed his forehead into mine, his eyes shut tightly. I leaned in and tentatively kissed his neck, reveling in the scent of sandalwood and citrus. It made my mouth water. My tongue peeked out and gave a tiny lick before I could stop it.

He groaned. "Bella…"

I looked into his eyes and saw his indecision. I had to find the words.

"I need you," I whispered.

He held my hip tightly with one hand while his other hand buried itself in the hair at the back of my neck. His voice cracked as he spoke. "You can ask anything of me. I will give you anything. You know that, right? You have all of me." His eyes burned into mine with an intensity that took my breath away.

I nodded. "We can do this. Just…go slow."

His hands shook as he began moving them tentatively over my body. His eyes stayed locked with mine, looking for any signs of fear or uncertainty on my face, but there were none to find.

I pushed all thoughts of ghosts and spiders out of my mind and concentrated on the heat of his fingers as they scorched a path down my side. My eyes fluttered closed as his lips met mine, and I surrendered myself to the blissful sensations that his touch created in me. The cold wind ripped through the trees outside my window, and the rain pounded on the roof, but we were safe inside my comforter, loving each other without fear.

Our lovemaking was usually frantic and desperate, our souls urgently pulling, trying to get at each other. The restraint we were using now as we tenderly caressed each other amplified my desire for him, making my body burn like never before. I reveled in the intense heat, willed it to course through my blood and weld me to him.

I'd never felt so cherished as he worshipped my body with his hands and mouth, slowly dragging his lips and tongue down my neck, across my collarbone, his fingers gently lifting my shirt up so he could nuzzle my breasts. I moaned softly as he swirled his tongue around my nipple, kneading my flesh, working me into an incoherent puddle of goo.

He began to slide lower, making a path toward my aching center, but I pulled him back up. This wasn't about orgasms. His concerned face made its way back up to mine, and I reached my head up to devour his sweet, plump lips.

His breathing was becoming harsh, his touch growing rougher. I was too involved in the moment to care, but when he thrust his hand into my hair and pulled my head back to expose my neck, I felt his body go rigid. He released my head and buried his face in my neck, breathing heavily as he took a moment to regain his composure. He was trying to be so careful with me, trying to show me with his love that he was in control, and it made my heart swell.

As we moved against each other, we slid lower on the bed, the comforter sliding higher on our bodies until we were completely underneath it. Our bodies became slick with sweat as we writhed, our pajamas tangling around our limbs as we struggled to free ourselves while staying hidden under the blanket.

My eyes were locked in his passionate gaze as he entered me, and soft words of love and devotion flowed from his lips as he began to move inside me, filling me, making me whole. At some point, the blanket fell away, but I no longer cared if James was watching. There was nothing in the world but Edward. I was overwhelmed by his scent and his heat, the look of love on his face making my insides melt as he moaned softly and whispered my name over and over.

His eyes were squeezed shut and his thrusts were becoming erratic, but he made sure that he pushed me over the edge before he poured himself into me. We laid in silence for a while, gasping for air, until he picked the blanket up off the floor and wrapped it around our spent bodies. We fell asleep blissfully sated, our dreams calm and peaceful.

I was awoken by the sound of birds chirping happily. Sun streamed through my window and I had to think for a moment about where I was. Then I saw the beautiful man lying next to me and decided that I didn't care where I was, along as he was here with me. We held hands as we walked downstairs, and while I cooked pancakes, Edward helped Charlie with his morning routine. I felt a buoyancy that had been missing from my life for a long time.

I wish it had lasted for more than twenty minutes.

Edward's phone buzzed frantically from where it sat on the kitchen counter, the vibrations causing it to jump closer and closer to the edge until it was millimeters away from plummeting to the floor.

Clad in the apron he had just stolen from me in order to show off his pancake flipping skills, Edward saved the phone from certain death. He grabbed for it just as it made the final leap off the edge and fumbled to answer it with one hand while holding the frying pan in the other. He looked so proud of himself that I had to giggle.

"Jasper? What is it?" He smiled at me and flipped a pancake onto my plate, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder. I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down beside Charlie, who was poking at his pain meds sulkily.

"Come on, Dad, down the hatch." I pushed his orange juice toward him. Charlie opened his mouth to protest, but his voice was drowned out by a loud crash. We both looked at Edward, who was standing at the stove with one hand gripping his hair tightly, the phone held out in front of him. The frying pan was on the floor, pancakes scattered around it.

Neither Charlie nor I moved or spoke. We just gaped at Edward. Eventually he turned to us and said through clenched teeth, "Someone ransacked the house."

I gasped and stood to go to him, but he held his arm out, halting me. "Stay here with Charlie," he said, then grabbed his jacket and keys.

"No, Edward! If you're going, I'm going." I followed him to the door.

He sighed and turned to face me. Placing his hands on both my shoulders, he squeezed. "You need to stay put, Bella." His voice was low and forceful and his eyes bored into mine, pinning me to the ground.

Charlie called from the kitchen, "A squad car with be at your house shortly, Edward. Tell Jasper not to touch anything."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered, "Great." Then he called out so Charlie could hear him. "Thanks, Chief." He gave me a quick kiss then walked quickly to his car.

I wanted to follow him, but I had no vehicle. Anxiety gnawed at my stomach and made my skin crawl as I thought of all the things that could await him at his house. I felt so helpless.

"Geez, Bella, relax. Whoever did it is probably long gone by now. Edward will be fine. Mark will probably beat him there anyways."

Obviously Charlie hadn't ever seen Edward drive, which was lucky for Edward. Trying to keep up appearances for Charlie, I cleared the breakfast dishes and helped him get comfortable in his recliner. He had finally taken his pain medication and would probably be asleep in a few minutes.

I went upstairs to my room and briefly smiled to myself when I saw the blanket all messed up on the bed. I fired up the computer and decided to search for some more paranormal resources. After reading about the haunting of the _American Idol_ house and an app for communicating with ghosts, I gave up and checked my email. I was surprised to see that J. Jenks had returned my email.

_**Ms. Swan,**_

_**I hate computers. Please phone me. **_

_**Jenks**_

_**206-546-8363 **_

I stared at the screen for a moment. I didn't know anything about this person. He most likely was a total nut-job. But I still found myself dialing the phone number.

It rang three times. I was about to come to my senses and hang up, when I heard a raspy voice answer.

"Yes?"

I held my breath for a moment. What was I doing? "Hello? Mr. Jenks?"

"Ah! Ms. Swan. Nice to hear from you."

I gasped. "How did you know who it was?"

"Oh, old Mrs. Hemstead told me you'd be calling today. She just floated down from the attic."

I sat there with my mouth open.

"Uh, caller ID, Ms. Swan."

"Oh."

"What can I do for you?"

I closed my eyes and thought about how angry Edward would be if I told an outsider about his family. Then I thought of James and all of the shit he was causing us. I had to take a chance.

"I have a ghost problem, Mr. Jenks."

"Well, you know who to call, right?"

"Um, I called you."

"No! You know – who ya gonna call?" he sang.

"_Ghostbusters_? Really?" Ugh. This was a waste of a phone call.

"You and I both know that there is no such thing as ghosts, Ms. Swan."

"Yes. I'm sorry to have bothered you. Good-bye." I hung up as hot tears filled my eyes. I felt so stupid. Of course no one was going to believe me—sometimes I still didn't believe it myself.

I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. Being away from Edward was intolerable, especially since he could be in danger. I couldn't sit still. My brain felt like it was shorting out, firing all synapses at once. I knew there was only one thing I could do to ease my overwrought mind.

I opened up a Word document and placed my hands on the keyboard. Closing my eyes and breathing deeply, I called upon the busy little creature that lived in the back of my brain, the one that gave me those little niggling feelings when I'd forgotten something, or when something was not quite right. The one that had given me a bestselling novel. I attempted to push aside the large part of my mind that was screaming at me to start running to the Cullen house and just let myself feel.

The words came slowly at first, but as I relaxed into it, my fingers started to type faster. I wrote without ceasing for what could have been hours—I lost all concept of time. I was in a zone. I had no thoughts of plot or character, theme or even genre. I just poured everything that had been festering in the back of my mind onto the pages.

Thirty-six pages later, I heard Charlie calling me. I was stunned when I looked at the clock and saw that it was late afternoon. Guilt flooded me when I realized that he was probably quite hungry and stuck in his chair. I rushed downstairs to find him happily devouring a peanut butter and jam sandwich.

Mark sat on the couch, still in his uniform.

"Hi, Bella. Have a seat," he said.

"Hey. Is Edward still at his house?" I remained standing in the doorway, the anxiety back full force.

Mark nodded. "He and Jasper are cleaning up."

"What happened?"

"It must have been a break-in, but I couldn't find the entry point. There's a lot of damage inside, though."

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

He looked at Charlie, then at me, exhaling loudly. "What's in the attic, Bella?"

I raised my eyebrows. "The attic? I have no idea. What do you think is up there?"

"I don't know. There was evidence that the perpetrator had gone up there, but Dr. Cullen refused to let me investigate. He and his brother were very unhelpful. You'd think they'd want to find out who did this." His gaze bored into me while he spoke.

"Yes, I'm sure they do." I stared right back at him.

This time, Charlie spoke. "Bella, if the Cullens are up to something, I don't want you hanging out over there. You have been acting strange lately—what's going on?"

I felt cornered and it made me angry. "The Cullens are upstanding citizens in this town—you of all people should know that. Their family has been here for a long time, and they have heirlooms that they don't want people outside the family to see." My voice rose as I continued my rant, storming into the middle of the living room. "They are the victims here, yet because they're trying to retain some semblance of privacy after they've been horribly violated, you get suspicious?"

Mark held up his hands. "Okay, Bella. Sorry." Charlie just gaped at me.

"Mark, will you drive me to Edward's house please?" He nodded. As I was getting my coat on, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella." Edward's voice sounded strange. "Would you care to tell my why the _FUCK_ there's a cross-eyed man in a trench coat at my house, telling me he can help me with my ghost problem?"

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! If you're looking for some extra reading, I highly recommend Edward'sChipper's _Of Swans and Silence_. It is super juicy and dark, an E/B fic with wonderfully strong characters, smexy times and suspense better than your wildest dreams!

I'm also totally loving Little Miss Mionie's _Summerboy_. I don't usually do angst, but she writes it beautifully and has me eating out of the palm of her hand and begging for more!

And my absolute favorite fic right now is SexyLexiCullen's _Quiet Storm_. I just love Bebella and Glocksper, Whorelisle and Freakme! Run, don't walk - read it!


	7. A Cold and Broken Hallelujah

You're going to want some tissues for this.

Love to my betas, HollettLA and MC101180. And I really want to thank Clint for all the late-night advice.

Twilight not mine.

WARNING: Character death (but remember, this is a ghost story.) Neither Edward or Bella will die, so please don't flounce!

* * *

_There's a blaze of light in every word_  
_It doesn't matter which are heard_  
_The holy or the broken Hallelujah_

~Leonard Cohen

EPOV

Jasper didn't even sound worried. The prick had had one foot in the grave most of his life, never even trying to live. He didn't give a shit about the house, except as a place he could hide away with Alice. But once he was dead, he would be with her and to hell with the rest of us. I had always had high hopes that he would someday reengage in life, but I realized as I walked into the house and found him in his room meditating, trying to bring his emotions to a high enough level that Alice could visit, that the opposite was true. He was madly pulling himself toward her…toward death. He didn't give a shit about our family's artifacts, only about how the negative atmosphere was going to affect his romantic interludes.

"Jesus, Edward, I can feel the negativity coming off you. Can you at least _try_ to control your emotions?" Jasper asked as he sat cross-legged on the floor with his eyes closed.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "If you help me clean up this mess, you'll be rid of me sooner. Bella's back at Charlie's, but if I don't get back to her soon, she's likely to come here looking for me. I can't have her exposed to this." I waved my hand behind me, toward the destruction.

"If you leave me the hell alone, I can talk to Alice and find out who did this."

I ground my teeth together to keep from snapping at him. "I think we both know who did this."

He finally opened his eyes. "Okay, sure. Maybe he's capable of knocking our shit around, but where the hell would he get live spiders?" He smirked. "Are you sure they _were_ alive? Maybe he brought them through with him."

I gave him a sarcastic smile. "I don't think a ghost spider would leave remnants of itself on the bottom of my shoe."

Jasper chuckled. "True. But don't you feel like something's not quite right?"

"Nothing about this situation is right, Jasper."

He shrugged. "Whatever. I just can't help but wonder if something else is going on here. It takes a lot of energy for them to visit us, let alone cause the kind of mayhem he's supposedly been causing."

"What are you saying?"

"Maybe there's an actual living person behind all this. Like in those episodes of _Scooby Doo_ – they take the mask off the ghost and it's Old Man What's-his-name from the jewelry store." He paused for a moment to let the idea sink in. "The Quileuetes were really upset with you when Jared died."

I thought about it then shook my head. "No, it doesn't add up. Of course the Quileutes were upset, but they wouldn't stoop _this_ low." But the seed had been planted, and I couldn't stop wondering if Jasper was right. What had I gotten Bella into? Maybe I should take a leave of absence from work and go away with her—far away from all of this shit. She could write, and I could gaze at her, and smell her…touch her…

Jasper cleared his throat. "Maybe you should go back to Charlie's. With the vibes you're giving off, Alice is going to want some privacy when she gets here." He wiggled his eyebrows and I cringed.

I looked at him curiously. "How the hell do you know what kind of _vibes_ I'm giving off?" Jasper was being even weirder than usual.

"You're thinking of Bella—I can tell. You've got this dreamy, faraway look and you're…uh…" He waved his hand toward my groin, and I realized that I had gotten into my fantasy a little more than I'd intended.

My face burned and I turned toward the doorway just as the doorbell rang. "That's probably the cops. I'll get rid of them, then I'm going to start cleaning up. I don't care if you help." I walked out of the room, leaving Jasper chuckling to himself until a thought struck me that filled me with terror.

I whipped around to face Jasper again. "Jasper—have you checked the attic?" His face blanched, but he quickly recovered.

"Not even he would do that—it could affect him too." He closed his eyes and tried to meditate again, but I could see the tension in his body.

"Can you just go…"

"Fuck, Edward! He wouldn't do that. It's fine!" Jasper screamed, his eyes tightly shut as he fought to regain his calm purchase on the river of denial. I walked away, wondering what it would do to him if my worries were true.

A lone police officer stood at my door. It was Charlie's deputy, Mark. A third of the Forks Police Department was here to investigate the alleged burglary at my house. He insisted that he have a look around, make sure the culprit had indeed left, but I saw the curiosity on his face. Stories about my family had been told for generations, and outsiders were very rarely allowed inside the house.

"Your attic window is broken." He tried another angle to gain access to my house, and my stomach dropped at his observation. "You don't seem the type to neglect your house like that, so I bet the perpetrator broke it. He could still be up there."

He needed to leave. "Mark, I appreciate your concern, but I do not require the assistance of the Forks PD today." I started to close the door, but he stuck his foot in it.

"What are you hiding, Cullen?" He glared at me. I was a little taken aback by his change in demeanor.

"I have nothing to hide. My family is very private, and we would prefer to take care of this on our own."

"Your family," he mused. "You mean, you and your brother?" He eyed me suspiciously, as if he was expecting me to admit that in fact, I was talking about my wife, Bertha, who was hidden in the attic.

"I have a lot of family in town, some in very high places." I didn't bother hiding the annoyance in my tone. It wasn't a good idea to threaten a police officer, but I'd had enough. One call to my Uncle Eleazar, the mayor of Forks, and the PD would leave me alone.

His eyes narrowed. "Right. Well, if you have any more problems with people breaking into your house and stealing your things, you just call your _family_." He turned and stormed off toward his car.

I walked back inside, taking a moment to survey the damage on the main level. I may have been stalling going to the attic—perhaps I understood Jasper's denial more than I had let on.

My blood boiled as I walked into the rec room, where I kept some of my most personal items. Bella hadn't even really seen in here, since it had been dark the night of the party. The room looked as though an earthquake had hit it, but then the ground healed itself, leaving only the devastation on the surface.

I picked the small tombstone up off the floor. It was cracked down the center, and I briefly considered calling my old friend Garrett, who had kindly made it for me one summer during college when I'd worked as a groundskeeper for a cemetery in Seattle. But I found that I actually liked the imperfection; it added to the graveside effect, making it look old and worn.

_Like the person it represented would never be._

Or would he? I really didn't know what to think anymore.

I set the damaged effigy back on the desk, beside the shattered picture frame and candles and took a deep breath as I made my way to the staircase.

This was the part I'd been dreading.

Grief began to seep into the edges of my psyche, closing in and almost choking me as I slowly walked upstairs to the attic. I knew what I would most likely find, or not find, and I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my life, and my death, were about to change drastically.

The ladder was already lowered, and suddenly, I regretted sending Charlie's deputy away. What if someone _was_ still up here? That would also mean that the criminal was human, and I would be able to bash his skull in. I was about to go back downstairs to get my nine-iron, when I heard muffled sobs coming from the top of the ladder.

Putting aside all thoughts of skull-bashing, I quietly climbed the ladder and pushed open the trapdoor.

Large chunks of cement littered the floor. Panicked, my eyes flew to the columbarium at the far end of the room, where my entire family's ashes were stored as far back as the first Cullens who had settled in Forks. A gaping hole marred the large structure, my family's history weeping out the center.

Jasper lay prostrate on the floor, his shoulders shaking. My stomach clenched, my whole body beginning to buckle in on itself as the pain coursed through me, pain that I had never known before. Not even when both my parents died in a plane crash, or when I discovered that my wife had been having an affair and was killed in a car accident with her lover, had I ever felt this body-ripping, muscle-tearing, entrail-twisting, brain-fracturing torment.

_They were really gone now._

I fell to my knees at this vile attack on my family's final resting place, anger and disgust making the bile in my stomach boil and rise up to my throat. This was no act of ordinary vandalism. Whoever was responsible for this intended more than just the desecration of my family's final resting place—they wanted to seal the veil. Why else would someone _steal _ashes?

""""Who is missing?" I choked out the words. Jasper jolted upright at the sound of my voice. He didn't speak but slowly stood and turned around. I gasped when I saw his face. My brother was gone, and in his place was a hollow man who had lost his only reason for being. His eyes were wide and unfocused. His mouth gaped, his tongue hanging loosely inside.

He shook his head, attempting to regain himself and failing. His voice was a broken rasp. "Um, the center of the structure sustained the most damage." He closed his eyes and swallowed, then shook his head again. "It was the newest area and housed most of the family that was buried in the last fifty years."

_Mom..._

_Dad…_

_Gone? They are gone?_ I shook my head violently. _It cannot be._ They always come back. Everyone in my family _always_ comes back.

His voice was detached, his face blank. "Oh, and this one." He held up a chipped bronze plaque that read:

_**Alice Brandon Cullen**_

_**Beloved wife of Peter**_

_**1**__**1**__**901-1920**_

He turned his head away and let the plaque fall to the floor with a loud, ringing clang, then walked in a daze to the trapdoor and climbed down the ladder.

I fell to my hands and knees on the cold, hard floor, gasping as my chest tore open, creating a hole that mirrored the one in the columbarium. I had never really known grief, I realized. I had lived a life devoid of these deep, dark feelings because we were different. Special.

Now I was just like everyone else. I was just like the little girl in my fourth grade class who had been devastated by the death of her mother. I couldn't understand what the big deal was—I told her that if she would just try to feel happy, she'd be able to see her mother again. She tried so hard. But one day, she cracked. She flung herself down onto the ground in the middle of the playground and just started shrieking. Her dad had to come and peel her off the ground.

She never returned to school.

I understood now. No amount of trying to be happy would bring my parents back. The chasm in my chest throbbed painfully until I thought of Bella, my beautiful brown-eyed girl. _My solace. _My soul was crying out for her to come and join with it, to make me whole.

_She can't come here! It's not safe!_ My mind screamed as fear consumed me. My throat constricted; I couldn't breathe when the reality set in that she was all I had left, and I could lose her.

Now I understood the desperation I had been feeling since I met her, the intense feeling of wanting to pull her inside of me, to consume her and never let her go. It wasn't just my soul wanting to join with its mate—it was raw, unbridled terror.

I was now even more desperate to marry her. Desperate to make her part of my family, so I could live with her forever.

Through the broken window, I could hear tires on the gravel. Someone was here. As I went to look out the window, I vaguely wondered how it had gotten broken – it was at the front of the house, opposite the columbarium, and the rest of that part of the attic seemed untouched.

A dusty old yellow Saab was pulling up to the house. I watched as a small, scruffy looking man got out and surveyed his surroundings. Before I could move away from the window, he looked up, squinting, and saw me. He gave me a brief wave and walked to the door.

I didn't move from the window.

After a few moments of ringing the doorbell fruitlessly, he emerged and looked up at the attic again. He pointed to me, then to the door, like he was asking if I could open it for him.

_He must be mentally incapacitated_. I wasn't being subtle about ignoring him. Thoroughly annoyed, I stomped down the stairs, past Jasper's closed door, to the front porch.

The shabby little man smiled when he saw me and walked toward me, not deterred by the scowl on my face.

"Ah! You must be Mr. Cullen. My name's Jenks." He held out his hand, but I ignored it.

"Jenks. This is really not a good time."

He shifted uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh…so I heard. I think I may be able to help you."

I scoffed. "Help me with what?"

He looked straight at me, and his eyes appeared crossed behind his thick glasses. "Your ghost problem, sir," he stated matter-of-factly.

Pressure filled my head and I thought it would explode. I stormed back into the house, slammed the door, and grabbed my phone, calling Bella.

She sounded taken aback by my anger. I tried to tone it down for her, not wanting to scare her, but it was impossible with all the tumultuous emotions raging through me. She insisted on coming here right away, even though I vehemently protested. I hung up the phone and screamed, banging my fist on the wall. Everything was spinning out of control. At least she didn't have a vehicle, and Charlie couldn't drive her.

I looked out the window. Jenks was standing outside his car, smoking a cigar and staring off into the trees. His lips were moving as if he was talking.

Bella pulled up on an old motorcycle. I thought my head would explode—the fear and anger I had already been struggling with grabbed my throat and squeezed until I choked.

Did she have no regard for her safety whatsoever?

I flew out the front door and enveloped her in my arms, frantically pulling her off the bike. We fell to the ground, and I held her in my lap and fumbled with her helmet, desperate to feel her against me. She struggled, confused and surprised, but I only held her closer. I was crazed from my contradictory feelings; I wanted her with me, but I wanted her safe and that meant far away from me. I must have seemed possessed as I tore her helmet off and buried my face in her hair, grasping at her wildly, pinning her to me.

Suddenly, she began to struggle in earnest. "Edward?" Her voice was panicked.

_Why was she fighting me?_ I let her go. She scrambled up and away from me, and my soul screamed at me to get her back. I fell forward onto my hands and knees, my breaths harsh and ragged. I was losing control of myself, but I didn't want to frighten her.

"Edward?" Her voice was tiny. "Is it…you?"

I nodded spastically, trying to get enough air into my lungs to speak. "Yes, it's me." I gasped. "They're gone, Bella. They're gone." My shoulders shook, and I tried to get a hold of myself, cognizant of the stranger standing only a few feet away.

She cried out, and before I could move to her, I was surrounded by her scent, her warm body wrapping itself around me as she stroked my hair and offered me her comfort.

My soul sighed as it linked itself with its other half, gracefully joining together like the insoluble liquid inside a lava lamp.

The cacophony of emotions broiling inside me came to a head when I touched her, releasing a single, gut-wrenching sob into her neck. I squeezed her so hard that she squeaked, and even then, I only released her the minimum amount required to allow her to breathe again.

She stroked my hair while whispering soothing words in my ear: that we would be okay, that she would take care of me, never leave me…

That she would love me forever.

I held her face in my hands and stared deeply into her eyes. Her eyes widened. "Then marry me, Bella…please," I begged.

I expected her to stiffen and pull away, but she only held me tighter. "Oh God, Edward. It feels so right. It doesn't make any sense—we've only just met."

"Don't think, baby, just feel. Feel how good we are together. That's never going to change. I need you. I can't live without you. I won't. Please?" I didn't care that I sounded pathetic and desperate—I was.

She buried her face in my neck. "Okay."

Even though the word was muffled by my shirt, my heart heard it and almost burst through my chest. Although I had been hoping for the more traditional answer of _yes_, beggars can't be choosers. "Okay?"

"Okay."

_Okay may be my new favorite word._

Our bittersweet bliss was interrupted by someone clearing their throat. I exhaled slowly and turned my head toward the sound to find a pair of scuffed leather shoes covered by too-long pants standing next to us.

"Sorry to interrupt, sir…ma'am." Jenks nodded to Bella, still in my arms. "But may I please have a look in the attic?"

I stood, pulling Bella with me and brushing the dirt off of her. "Jenks, I…"

"Mr. Jenks, thank you for coming. I'm Bella Swan." Bella shook his hand, and Jenks smiled like they were old friends. "I see you changed your mind."

Jenks shrugged. "You can't be too careful in my line of work—there are a lot of weirdoes out there."

I stared at him, my arms crossed. "You don't say."

Bella stepped in front of me. "What made you change your mind?" Then she turned toward me. "And why does everyone want to see your attic?"

"I'm sure he consulted his Ouija board and got someone to give us a reference." I tugged on Bella's arm. "I need you to come inside with me, Bella."

Jenks chuckled. "Well, no, Mr. Cullen. Not quite. I understand that now is not good for you. Here's my contact information should you change your mind." He held out a card. I pulled Bella away, ignoring the card, but she grabbed it. I could feel her glaring at me.

When we got inside the front door, I released her, and she whipped around to face me.

"I haven't seen this side of you since the first day we met. He came all the way from Seattle to help us."

She didn't understand. I took her hand again and gently guided her toward the attic. "There's something you need to see."

I went up first, and then helped her through the trapdoor. She stepped forward hesitantly, taking in the crypt-like décor. Her eyes were wide, and she said nothing as she walked to the columbarium, holding her hand out to touch it as if she was making sure that it was real.

"Who would do such a thing?" she whispered. Turning to me, she said, "You didn't tell me about this."

I hung my head. Before I could utter an apology, she continued.

"So this means…" Her voice was barely audible.

I could only nod.

Tears welled in her eyes. I couldn't look; seeing her tears would bring on my own. "You're sure?" Her voice was so tiny, it could have fit in the bird's nest I saw in the rafters.

Clearing my throat, I invoked my years of training to remain clinical and detached. "The legend says that they can only come back as long as their remains are in the house." My throat felt like I had swallowed a golf ball.

She was quiet, thoughtful for a moment, and then her head shot up. "Edward, who knows about that part of the legend?"

I frowned. "Just my family…and maybe some of the Quileutes."

"The Quileutes," she pondered, walking back to the columbarium and reading the plaques. "Where was James? Is he gone now?" She stiffened, turning to look at me accusingly. "Why didn't you just get rid of his remains?"

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I was getting a massive headache. "James' remains were never here." I scoffed. "Do you really think I would have let that bastard anywhere near my family's final resting place? Dead or alive?"

She blushed. "Of course. I'm sorry," she muttered, turning away from me. She grabbed her hair at the roots and pulled. "Then how…" She spun around to face me. "You don't know, do you? You have no idea how he came back?" Her voice was becoming shrill.

I went to her and grabbed her hands, forcing them to release the grip she had on her hair. "No. We have no idea." I pulled her into my chest. "I didn't want to upset you, and my family was working on it."

Her small hands pushed against my chest, and she struggled to move away from me. I reluctantly released her. "So, you didn't think I could handle it? On top of everything else, you thought that this bit of info would break me?"

I held out my arms. "No, Bella! I just…"

She grew calm, which worried me. "Edward, I am here for you. I will stand by your side no matter what. It hurts me greatly that you do not want me there."

I ran my hands through my hair. "That's not true! Of course I want you by my side."

She shook her fist. "You continually hide things from me and shut me out. Why can't you trust me?" she yelled, storming toward the trapdoor, almost tripping over a large cardboard box with dark stains on it.

I grabbed her arm, but she shoved me off. "I need some fresh air, Edward. This place, this situation, _everything_, is so fucked up. I need to get out of here." I released her like she was made of hot coal and went to the center of the room, my rage at a full boil.

I had taken so much for granted. My rage was directed straight at myself, burning a hole in my gut where I could store all my regrets.

_Why hadn't I tried harder these last few years to create an atmosphere that welcomed my family's spirits?_

_Why couldn't I have just told Bella everything?_

_Why had I tried all these years to save Jasper? _

That last regret took me by surprise. Did I really regret saving Jasper? In all his attempts to hide his bouts of illness from me, to waste away, I persevered, pushing him to get treatment, even using guilt to force him to stay with me.

Had I been selfish, wanting to keep him with me? He _was_ the last of my immediate family. Besides, I was a doctor—it went against everything I believe in to just let him go.

But all he wanted was to be with the woman he loved.

I ruined everything. My family…Bella…

I picked up the heavy stone vase that used to adorn my mother's outdoor garden and heaved it at the window. The sharp crashing sound penetrated my body, the sound hitting the pit of my stomach and mushrooming out, sending me to my knees and knocking me out of my fury.

I panted as the adrenaline slowly left my bloodstream. _Bella… God, how I need her_.

I scrambled to the trapdoor, pushing aside the strange-smelling box that Bella had nearly tripped over. On my way downstairs, I checked on Jasper. He was sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. He didn't acknowledge me.

I closed his door quietly and went into the rec room. Bella was outside, sitting on the ground next to the blasted motorcycle. _I certainly hope she realizes that I'm driving her home._ I kicked at the debris on the floor and grabbed the tombstone, resolving to have it fixed. I didn't want any reminders of desecrated graves.

I stepped onto the front porch just as Bella was putting on her helmet.

Taking long, furious strides, I reached her quickly, grabbing the bike's handlebars. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She glared at me. "I'm going to check on Charlie." She stood defiantly, her hair blowing around as it stuck out of the bottom of her helmet.

"I'll drive you." I took her hand. "Please, Bella?" I asked softly. "I can't bear to be apart from you for another minute."

Her shoulders slumped in resignation, and I put my arms around her, hugging her to me despite the awkward helmet. _She does look rather sexy in it._ We both sighed with relief. I led her toward my car, which was parked in front of the garage.

"Edward, look!" Bella was pointing at the broken attic window. A thin cloud of smoke was gathering, swirling playfully outside the shards of glass that remained attached to the frame.

"Stay here." As I turned to run into the house, I saw Bella pull out her cell phone. My foot hit the bottom step and a loud explosion sounded, shaking the wooden stairs. Bella screamed. I continued up the stairs to the front porch, but Bella ran toward me.

"No, Edward! There's flames! Wait for the fire department!" Through the front window I could already see smoke pouring down the stairs inside the house.

"Bella, stay out here. I'll be quick." Pulling my shirt over my mouth, I opened the door.

"Jasper!" I yelled, hearing nothing but the low rumbling of fire eating away at the top of the house. I ran up the stairs to his room and burst through the door.

It was empty. _Where the hell was he?_

The sound of sirens grew louder, and I exhaled into my shirt, relieved that help had arrived. Turning to leave, I noticed smoke billowing under the bedroom door.

_Had the fire spread that quickly?_

I touched the doorknob. It was cool. I cracked the door open slightly and was accosted by a wave of thick smoke. I closed the door.

_If I ran, could I reach the front door before being overcome by smoke?_

The room was filling with smoke, and I was already having trouble breathing. Running downstairs was not an option. I went to the window. Jasper's room looked out into the forest at the side of the house, so I couldn't see the fire trucks.

And they couldn't see me.

Smoke was pouring into the room through the crack under the door. I felt a sharp, stinging pain in my lungs and began to cough. I unlocked the window and pushed. The pane moved effortlessly.

_Thank God I had the windows replaced when I moved back._

I pushed the screen out and stuck my head outside, gasping in the clean air. I could hear Bella crying and yelling my name.

"Bella!" My voice was hoarse from the smoke and barely came out. Jasper's room was on the second floor—too high to jump. There was a tree branch hanging close to the window; if I could make the leap…

Two firefighters carrying a ladder rounded the corner of the house. They saw me hanging out of the window right away.

"We found him!" one of the firefighters yelled, before they placed the ladder up against the house.

The firefighter checked me for smoke inhalation, and when he deemed that I would be okay after some oxygen, we walked around to the front of the house. Bella ran to me, tears streaming down her face. I caught her as she pounced, but I was feeling weak from all the smoke I'd inhaled, and we fell to the ground.

She kissed my face all over and ran her hands along my chest, my arms, my legs, making sure I was unharmed. Forgetting about the paramedics waiting to administer oxygen, I held her close as I peered over her shoulder and watched my childhood home go up in flames.

I was numb from grief. My body had had all it could handle and had shut down. I sat, holding Bella, and stared as firefighters shot water onto the house and surrounding trees, trying to stop the fire from spreading.

The roof began to cave. The roof that had sheltered my family for generations.

The columbarium would be completely destroyed. I would never see the ghosts again.

A firefighter emerged, holding a limp body covered in a blanket. Bella cried. I sat and stared.

My cousins were beginning to arrive, word having spread quickly. Angela and Sam got out of the car. Angela ran toward the ambulance.

My mind felt disjointed, like I was observing an episode of _Third Watch _or some such shit, where some nameless victim was being worked on in the back of the ambulance, and the paramedics and firefighters would meet up for beers later.

_I'm a doctor. I should help._

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and became _Dr. Cullen_. All of the turmoil _Edward _was feeling could wait.

Bella was sobbing. She took my hand as I got up off the ground. We walked toward the ambulance, where the paramedics, my cousins Eric and Lauren, were doing CPR on Ja...the victim. His body and clothes were burned. He must have been in the attic.

I climbed into the ambulance. Eric and Lauren exchanged concerned looks.

I cleared my throat. "Stop CPR." My voice had returned.

"Edward, you shouldn't do this." Eric looked at me sympathetically. I had to look away for a moment to keep up my façade of professional detachment. I looked at him again, and something about my expression made him stop. He moved away from the body. I looked at Lauren, and she removed the oxygen mask.

I examined the body and determined that there were no signs of life. Silence descended as I looked at my watch.

"Time of death, 6:42pm."

I closed my eyes as I heard the quiet sobs around me. Placing my hand on the body, I opened my eyes, my façade gone.

_Good-bye, my brother. Go, be with your love._

* * *

Thanks for reading, friends.

I highly recommend that you head over to Liz Lemon Bennett's _She Gives Me Religion_, if you haven't already. Her characters are amazingly beautiful and deep, witty and poignant.

Also, another very inspiring and moving story is Gothic Temptress' _Scintilla_. She updates weekly and just posted the juiciest chapter yet! I'm still fanning myself!

Both of these wonderful authors are writing their first WIP. I mention this because the Avante Garde awards are on right now, celebrating novice authors. Just thought I'd throw that out there. So, um, yeah. _  
_


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